AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS
INTERNATIONAL SHIT" ON INTERNET
Web's Increasingly Worldly Flavor Threatens Americans' Worldview
PULLMAN, WASH. (SatireWire.com) — The profusion of international news available on the Internet has made it increasingly difficult for the average American to ignore the rest of the world, a trend researchers say threatens Americans' long, proud history of disregarding anything not about them.
"With all the foreign newspapers and multi-cultural sites, the Internet is making it almost impossible for the average American to remain uninformed and apathetic," said Samantha Lessborn of Washington State University, which conducted the survey. "Americans can still do it. But it now takes effort, whereas before it was as easy as turning off Tom Brokaw whenever he said 'In South Korea today...'"
According to survey participant Danny Grisham, a 22-year-old from Cheyenne, Wyoming, it's not just the plethora of international news on the Web that is irritating. "Look, I can get around the news. I just turn off Reuters headlines in MyYahoo," he said. "But even some of the search sites like Yahoo and Alta Vista are available in different languages. Like everybody in the world doesn't speak English. Yeah, right."
"I can see where it's important if we're, like, beating some country in the Olympics or bombing them or, ideally, both," Grisham added. "But if some Colombian drug lord sinks a ferry full of Israeli soldiers in North Latvoania or Serbo-Malaysia, or wherever, and Americans aren't involved, what has that got to do with me?"
Other respondents said they were appalled, not just by the availability of non-U.S. news, but by the way important U.S. news is reported by some of these foreign sites. "Yesterday, for instance, the St. Louis Rams beat the Atlanta Falcons, OK, and I go to the London Times site and it's not even there," said Chip Pernadge of Kansas City, Mo. "Jesus, no wonder those guys lost the war and had to give Hong Kong back to Canada."
Sensing a market opportunity, Net Nanny, makers of Net Nanny filtering software, announced this week it will introduce NetNarrow, an English-only product that automatically filters out content that appears to be international. Specifically, the software looks for world datelines and keywords indicative of irrelevant foreign stories, including "Shiite," "post-Apartheid," and "Bob Geldof."
Survey-taker Craig Barker of Brooklyn, New York, said he will be among the first to get NetNarrow. "On the Web, there are so many ways to get news from so many different places, I could really get some fresh insights into what's going on in other countries if I wanted to," he said.. "But I don't want to."
"You'd think these Internet people would know that," Barker added. "I mean, that's why the Internet is called America Online, right? It's supposed to be about America."
AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
Moderators: Omphalos, Freakzilla, ᴶᵛᵀᴬ
- SandRider
- Watermaster
- Posts: 6163
- Joined: 05 Oct 2008 16:14
- Location: In the back of your mind. Always.
- Contact:
AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
- smugetsu
- Posts: 264
- Joined: 25 May 2009 12:24
- Location: Lurking somewhere out there
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
You know, as a resident of Kansas City, MO (close enough, anyway) I'm appalled to know that someone this stupid is close enough to literally be breathing my air.SandRider wrote:Other respondents said they were appalled, not just by the availability of non-U.S. news, but by the way important U.S. news is reported by some of these foreign sites. "Yesterday, for instance, the St. Louis Rams beat the Atlanta Falcons, OK, and I go to the London Times site and it's not even there," said Chip Pernadge of Kansas City, Mo. "Jesus, no wonder those guys lost the war and had to give Hong Kong back to Canada."
Way to do us proud, Chip...rest soundly in your bed knowing that you're the reason why we in the midwest are often stereotyped as being rednecks.
Edited for me being hasty (read: an idiot) and not seeing that the source was SatireWire.com...I was in a hurry and got straight to the good stuff. So...yeah.
I actually know people (and in some cases, work with them) that would honestly think that England gave Hong Kong back to Canada. I guess (in my head, anyway) it wasn't outside the realm of possibility for someone to really be voicing those opinions!
Last edited by smugetsu on 09 Aug 2009 17:32, edited 2 times in total.
- GamePlayer
- 70mm God
- Posts: 2993
- Joined: 09 Feb 2008 11:26
- Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
Fucking brilliant. This is comedy gold!
"They can chew you up, but they gotta spit you out."
- Mandy
- Cat Herder
- Posts: 1704
- Joined: 08 Feb 2008 20:18
- Contact:
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
That was great
As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Hypatia approaches one.
- SandChigger
- KJASF Ground Zero
- Posts: 14492
- Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
- Location: A continuing state of irritation
- Contact:
- chanilover
- Posts: 1644
- Joined: 18 Feb 2008 08:29
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
Funny.
"You and your buddies and that b*tch Mandy are nothing but a gang of lying, socially maladjusted losers." - St Hypatia of Arrakeen.
- Spicelon
- Posts: 703
- Joined: 30 Mar 2008 23:31
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
errr....i think even the quotes were scripted or tongue-in-cheek, smug - relax. Plus, as a St. Louisan nowsmugetsu wrote:You know, as a resident of Kansas City, MO (close enough, anyway) I'm appalled to know that someone this stupid is close enough to literally be breathing my air.SandRider wrote:Other respondents said they were appalled, not just by the availability of non-U.S. news, but by the way important U.S. news is reported by some of these foreign sites. "Yesterday, for instance, the St. Louis Rams beat the Atlanta Falcons, OK, and I go to the London Times site and it's not even there," said Chip Pernadge of Kansas City, Mo. "Jesus, no wonder those guys lost the war and had to give Hong Kong back to Canada."
Way to do us proud, Chip...rest soundly in your bed knowing that you're the reason why we in the midwest are often stereotyped as being rednecks.
living in Lawrence, it is my opinion that no self-respecting Kansas Citian would give a shit about the Rams,
much less St, Louis.
Awesome article, very Onion-worthy!
Poop is funny.
MetaCugel8262 is not.
MetaCugel8262 is not.
- TheDukester
- Posts: 3808
- Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
- Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
"I can see where it's important if we're, like, beating some country in the Olympics or bombing them or, ideally, both."
Very nice.
Very nice.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.
- TheDukester
- Posts: 3808
- Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
- Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
Well, the source is SatireWire.com ... so I'd say that's a pretty safe bet.Spicelon wrote:errr....i think even the quotes were scripted or tongue-in-cheek, smug - relax.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.
- SandRider
- Watermaster
- Posts: 6163
- Joined: 05 Oct 2008 16:14
- Location: In the back of your mind. Always.
- Contact:
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
came REAL close to editing that to "FOX News"
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
- smugetsu
- Posts: 264
- Joined: 25 May 2009 12:24
- Location: Lurking somewhere out there
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
I'm not really that bent out of shape about it, honestly!Spicelon wrote:errr....i think even the quotes were scripted or tongue-in-cheek, smug - relax. Plus, as a St. Louisan nowsmugetsu wrote:You know, as a resident of Kansas City, MO (close enough, anyway) I'm appalled to know that someone this stupid is close enough to literally be breathing my air.SandRider wrote:Other respondents said they were appalled, not just by the availability of non-U.S. news, but by the way important U.S. news is reported by some of these foreign sites. "Yesterday, for instance, the St. Louis Rams beat the Atlanta Falcons, OK, and I go to the London Times site and it's not even there," said Chip Pernadge of Kansas City, Mo. "Jesus, no wonder those guys lost the war and had to give Hong Kong back to Canada."
Way to do us proud, Chip...rest soundly in your bed knowing that you're the reason why we in the midwest are often stereotyped as being rednecks.
living in Lawrence, it is my opinion that no self-respecting Kansas Citian would give a shit about the Rams,
much less St, Louis.
Awesome article, very Onion-worthy!
But if we can't care about the Rams...that leaves the Chiefs...
- Seraphan
- Posts: 749
- Joined: 03 Jul 2008 08:36
- Location: Right Behind You!
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
Please stop, my tummy hurts
"The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand." - Frank Herbert
“This tutoring is dialectical. Literature makes us better noticers of life; we get to practice on life itself; which in turn makes us better readers of detail in literature; which in turn makes us better readers of life. And so on and on.” - James Wood
- Omphalos
- Inglorious Bastard
- Posts: 6677
- Joined: 05 Feb 2008 11:07
- Location: The Mighty Central Valley of California
- Contact:
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
Dude, I totally heard that they took the Panama Canal too!SandRider wrote:Other respondents said they were appalled, not just by the availability of non-U.S. news, but by the way important U.S. news is reported by some of these foreign sites. "Yesterday, for instance, the St. Louis Rams beat the Atlanta Falcons, OK, and I go to the London Times site and it's not even there," said Chip Pernadge of Kansas City, Mo. "Jesus, no wonder those guys lost the war and had to give Hong Kong back to Canada."
- Freakzilla
- Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
- Posts: 18454
- Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
- Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
- Contact:
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
As if beating the Falcons is newsworthy...
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman
- Rakis
- Posts: 1583
- Joined: 16 Feb 2008 00:00
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
North Latvoania or Serbo-Malaysia
- Schu
- Posts: 757
- Joined: 18 Dec 2008 00:51
- Location: Adelaide, Aussie
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
Fuckin' Awesome
- DuneFishUK
- Posts: 1991
- Joined: 25 May 2008 14:14
- Location: Cool Britannia
- Contact:
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
Fantastic!
- http://www.kullwahad.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - http://dunefont.kullwahad.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; -
- Freakzilla
- Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
- Posts: 18454
- Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
- Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
- Contact:
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
So... who's a 49ers fan?Freakzilla wrote:As if beating the Falcons is newsworthy...
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman
- Arrrmanda
- Posts: 107
- Joined: 29 Sep 2009 19:03
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
Football sucks *hides*
- Omphalos
- Inglorious Bastard
- Posts: 6677
- Joined: 05 Feb 2008 11:07
- Location: The Mighty Central Valley of California
- Contact:
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
Amen. Well, mostly.Arrrmanda wrote:Football sucks *hides*
- SandRider
- Watermaster
- Posts: 6163
- Joined: 05 Oct 2008 16:14
- Location: In the back of your mind. Always.
- Contact:
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
thought I was having another stroke today -
tuned in for a minute to watch Dallas, they were playing the Kansas City Chiefs ...
but the Chiefs were wearing red uniforms with a big state of Texas decal on the helmets ....
didn't get what was going on until I noticed the "Dallas Texans" sweatshirts the coaches were
wearing. Then it dawned on me, Lamar Hunt, the original Dallas team started in 1960, moved
to KC sometime in the mid-60's &etc.
some of the NFL retro-uniform bullshit.
just play the fucking game already,
leave the clowns to the circus.
this thread is now about
bitching about pro football.
go ...
tuned in for a minute to watch Dallas, they were playing the Kansas City Chiefs ...
but the Chiefs were wearing red uniforms with a big state of Texas decal on the helmets ....
didn't get what was going on until I noticed the "Dallas Texans" sweatshirts the coaches were
wearing. Then it dawned on me, Lamar Hunt, the original Dallas team started in 1960, moved
to KC sometime in the mid-60's &etc.
some of the NFL retro-uniform bullshit.
just play the fucking game already,
leave the clowns to the circus.
this thread is now about
bitching about pro football.
go ...
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people. ~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008
- SandChigger
- KJASF Ground Zero
- Posts: 14492
- Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
- Location: A continuing state of irritation
- Contact:
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
Go ...
NEVER saw the point.
They get paid HOW MUCH to do that?
Grown men, in stretchy pants?
NEVER saw the point.
They get paid HOW MUCH to do that?
Grown men, in stretchy pants?
- Crysknife
- Posts: 593
- Joined: 09 Feb 2008 02:15
- Location: SLC, punk
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
I guess I'll be the sole Dune torch bearer for Football
Go Utes!!
Go Utes!!
- TheDukester
- Posts: 3808
- Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
- Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
Ahem. Reigning Jacurutu bowl pool champion here!Crysknife wrote:I guess I'll be the sole Dune torch bearer for Football
viewtopic.php?t=1013" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
But, yes, I know what you're saying: the fact that most of the heathens around here don't follow the gridiron action is pretty depressing. SandRider's always good for some Texas/SEC input, but there's not much beyond that. Here, watch: I'll try to get Chiggie riled up:
There might be some outrage coming, but it will quickly pass.
Heathens. All of 'em.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.
- TheDukester
- Posts: 3808
- Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
- Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Re: AMERICANS ANNOYED BY "ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT"
It was a celebration of the 50th anniversary of the founding of the AFL. I think all eight of the original franchises were instructed to wear throwback uniforms.SandRider wrote:some of the NFL retro-uniform bullshit.
Sadly, that included the 1960 Denver Broncos ensemble:
No, that's not Photoshopped. No, that's not the University of Wyoming. Those were the actual uniforms, vertically-striped socks included.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.