No way. I don't think he's smart enough to come out of this clean.SandChigger wrote:Fifth, Ditch the hack and blame all the bullshit on him.
Sixth, Apologize deeply to offended fans, do complete self-remake-over.
Seventh, Emerge from shitstorm smelling like roses.
I'm telling ya, this is what's going to happen.
Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
- Freakzilla
- Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
- Posts: 18454
- Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
- Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
- Contact:
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman
- Hunchback Jack
- Posts: 1983
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- Location: California, USA
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
I think KJA is actually standing quite a bit closer to the camera than the guy sitting down, and the shot was taken with a zoom lens, so you lose the perspective.
HBJ
HBJ
"The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars."
- Carl Sagan
I'm still very proud of The Quarry but … let's face it; in the end the real best way to sign off would have been with a great big rollicking Culture novel.
- Iain Banks
- Carl Sagan
I'm still very proud of The Quarry but … let's face it; in the end the real best way to sign off would have been with a great big rollicking Culture novel.
- Iain Banks
- lotek
- Posts: 5784
- Joined: 28 Jul 2009 08:33
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
he still looks like a midget
but thanks for the explanation anyway!
but thanks for the explanation anyway!
Spice is the worm's gonads.
- Eyes High
- Patience Personified
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Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
Hunchback Jack wrote:I think KJA is actually standing quite a bit closer to the camera than the guy sitting down, and the shot was taken with a zoom lens, so you lose the perspective.
HBJ
But wouldn't that make KJ bigger and not the people in the back?
What fear is there in the night?
Nothing, but that which is in our own imaginations.
Nothing, but that which is in our own imaginations.
- Aquila ka-Hecate
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- Contact:
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
Nonono - he's standing in front of a projected slide.Eyes High wrote:Hunchback Jack wrote:I think KJA is actually standing quite a bit closer to the camera than the guy sitting down, and the shot was taken with a zoom lens, so you lose the perspective.
HBJ
But wouldn't that make KJ bigger and not the people in the back?
You know - showing the audience what one of his classes look like.
Must be short on real material, then.
- TheDukester
- Posts: 3808
- Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
- Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
Good news, everyone!
If you missed it — and, let's face it, it looks only about 13 people can say they didn't miss it — the Superstars Seminar featuring Kevin "Hack For Hire" Anderson and Becky "Unpublished" Moesta can now be seen/heard on DVD and MP3!
(No, I'm not making it up).
And just check out those prices! As Eddie Murphy used to say: "What a bargain ... what a bargain for me!"
http://goo.gl/wSaB" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
+++++
The above link works just fine in all of North America except for the state of Oklahoma. Any Oklahomans clicking it will receive the "I'm-A-L33t-Haxxor!" virus instead.
If you missed it — and, let's face it, it looks only about 13 people can say they didn't miss it — the Superstars Seminar featuring Kevin "Hack For Hire" Anderson and Becky "Unpublished" Moesta can now be seen/heard on DVD and MP3!
(No, I'm not making it up).
And just check out those prices! As Eddie Murphy used to say: "What a bargain ... what a bargain for me!"
http://goo.gl/wSaB" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
+++++
The above link works just fine in all of North America except for the state of Oklahoma. Any Oklahomans clicking it will receive the "I'm-A-L33t-Haxxor!" virus instead.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.
- Tleszer
- Posts: 2161
- Joined: 17 Feb 2008 18:02
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
Who in their right mind would pay that much for... that?
That just caused my green tushie to blush.
That just caused my green tushie to blush.
DUNE, as interpreted by a blue man with a green tushie
- Hunchback Jack
- Posts: 1983
- Joined: 30 May 2008 15:02
- Location: California, USA
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
I think that's called a desperate attempt to break even.
HBJ
HBJ
"The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars."
- Carl Sagan
I'm still very proud of The Quarry but … let's face it; in the end the real best way to sign off would have been with a great big rollicking Culture novel.
- Iain Banks
- Carl Sagan
I'm still very proud of The Quarry but … let's face it; in the end the real best way to sign off would have been with a great big rollicking Culture novel.
- Iain Banks
- TheDukester
- Posts: 3808
- Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
- Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
And you could have stopped right there.Tleszer wrote:Who in their right mind ...
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.
- lotek
- Posts: 5784
- Joined: 28 Jul 2009 08:33
- Robspierre
- Posts: 2162
- Joined: 19 Feb 2008 10:49
- Location: Cascadia
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
WOW!
I mean, I can get 99.9% of that advice for free from the likes of, uhm, let's see:
John Scalzi
Steven Pressfield
Craig Mazin (Screenplays)
and others, or I can spend a tiny bit of cash and order books from said writer's and other's, all without having to fork over $300 hard earned dineros. Money that would be better spent on, for example, writing materials, pens, pencils, paper, paper for print outs, postage to submit material, subscriptions to magazines that publish material similar to what one writes, and bills, you know, those pesky facts of life like electricity, rent, FOOD!, transportation, etc.
Rob
I mean, I can get 99.9% of that advice for free from the likes of, uhm, let's see:
John Scalzi
Steven Pressfield
Craig Mazin (Screenplays)
and others, or I can spend a tiny bit of cash and order books from said writer's and other's, all without having to fork over $300 hard earned dineros. Money that would be better spent on, for example, writing materials, pens, pencils, paper, paper for print outs, postage to submit material, subscriptions to magazines that publish material similar to what one writes, and bills, you know, those pesky facts of life like electricity, rent, FOOD!, transportation, etc.
Rob
-
- Posts: 315
- Joined: 23 Apr 2008 01:55
- Location: Cedon
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
I know I shouldn't be posting but I can't help it, I had to share this with you guys.
It seem the Superstars writing seminar is now posted on Youtube. Check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4eiWruAss0
That's just one of several videos. Have fun tearing him apart!
It seem the Superstars writing seminar is now posted on Youtube. Check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4eiWruAss0
That's just one of several videos. Have fun tearing him apart!
-
- Administrator
- Posts: 2981
- Joined: 17 Feb 2008 18:44
- Location: Den Haag - The Netherlands
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
I can not even look at let alone listen to the man without feeling nauseated ...
We all know The Hack is all numbers when he measures his success. Still nowhere he brags about the numbers of paying visitors to the seminars. Does this mean that the numbers were so small that publishing them would show the gigantic failure this seminar was?
We all know The Hack is all numbers when he measures his success. Still nowhere he brags about the numbers of paying visitors to the seminars. Does this mean that the numbers were so small that publishing them would show the gigantic failure this seminar was?
Last edited by Serkanner on 24 May 2010 09:58, edited 1 time in total.
"... the mystery of life isn't a problem to solve but a reality to experience."
“There is no escape—we pay for the violence of our ancestors.”
Sandrider: "Keith went to Bobo's for a weekend of drinking, watched some DVDs,
and wrote a Dune Novel."
“There is no escape—we pay for the violence of our ancestors.”
Sandrider: "Keith went to Bobo's for a weekend of drinking, watched some DVDs,
and wrote a Dune Novel."
- lotek
- Posts: 5784
- Joined: 28 Jul 2009 08:33
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
yeah I remember mentionning something similar, and I must totally agree: if he could brag, he would; if he could lie and brag he would...Serkanner wrote:I can not even [i[look[/i] at let alone listen to the man without feeling nauseated ...
We all know The Hack is all numbers when he measures his success. Still nowhere he brags about the numbers of paying visitors to the seminars. Does this mean that the numbers were so small that publishing them would show the gigantic failure this seminar was?
So no bragging means there is not even the remotest chance even for someone like K to spin his way around it!
So:
Spice is the worm's gonads.
- SandChigger
- KJASF Ground Zero
- Posts: 14492
- Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
- Location: A continuing state of irritation
- Contact:
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
And I suppose they have posted no general pix of the audience in order to protect their "privacy".
I'll take a look Wednesday afton, this connection's too slow.
No, wait, stop, never mind! I'm sure it's some squirrelly head-fucked sort of Nebby World thing that knowing will just irritate me more than not knowing.
I'll take a look Wednesday afton, this connection's too slow.
And why might that be?Nebiros wrote:I know I shouldn't be posting...
No, wait, stop, never mind! I'm sure it's some squirrelly head-fucked sort of Nebby World thing that knowing will just irritate me more than not knowing.
"Let the dead give water to the dead. As for me, it's NO MORE FUCKING TEARS!"
- TheDukester
- Posts: 3808
- Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
- Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
YouTube channel!
http://goo.gl/U121" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
My favorite part? Most of the clips say something like "viewed 7 times," or "viewed 12 times." It looks like watching Keith and Becky move their lips around isn't a big bandwidth worry for YouTube.
I haven't checked any of them out yet — for one thing, I want to keep those viewership numbers as low as possible. For another, I don't want to put my fist through my monitor.
[Weren't these geniuses just advertising DVDs for hundreds of dollars? Maybe that didn't work out so well ...]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZPej_jc ... PL&index=4[/youtube]
http://goo.gl/U121" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
My favorite part? Most of the clips say something like "viewed 7 times," or "viewed 12 times." It looks like watching Keith and Becky move their lips around isn't a big bandwidth worry for YouTube.
I haven't checked any of them out yet — for one thing, I want to keep those viewership numbers as low as possible. For another, I don't want to put my fist through my monitor.
[Weren't these geniuses just advertising DVDs for hundreds of dollars? Maybe that didn't work out so well ...]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZPej_jc ... PL&index=4[/youtube]
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.
- SandChigger
- KJASF Ground Zero
- Posts: 14492
- Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
- Location: A continuing state of irritation
- Contact:
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
Yeah, I saw this when I checked in on Twitter a little while ago.
I would watch just to see if there are any shots of the audience, to see how many people were there, but I know ahead of time that there WON'T be any.
"Let the dead give water to the dead. As for me, it's NO MORE FUCKING TEARS!"
- chanilover
- Posts: 1644
- Joined: 18 Feb 2008 08:29
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
$300 for some DVDs! Shameless whores!
I only watched a bit of that Youtube clip. It's the first time I've seen the Going-Out Jacket in action.
I only watched a bit of that Youtube clip. It's the first time I've seen the Going-Out Jacket in action.
"You and your buddies and that b*tch Mandy are nothing but a gang of lying, socially maladjusted losers." - St Hypatia of Arrakeen.
- SandChigger
- KJASF Ground Zero
- Posts: 14492
- Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
- Location: A continuing state of irritation
- Contact:
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
Was it—like midget furry farm porn—everything you'd hoped it would be?
- Omphalos
- Inglorious Bastard
- Posts: 6677
- Joined: 05 Feb 2008 11:07
- Location: The Mighty Central Valley of California
- Contact:
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
Is that just a bad sound recording, or does Becky really sound like a dude?
- cmsahe
- Posts: 598
- Joined: 26 Aug 2008 22:40
- Location: Mexico City
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
This is waht you get for your hard earned money:
(replace the names for DUne characters and planets and presto!)
Just follow the outline below, pick appropriate options and you've got
your very own authentic SW Expanded Universe novel.
1. 1 year after the battle of Endor
2. 5 years after the battle of Endor
3. 20 years after the battle of Endor
4. during tea at the battle of Endor
Rebel/New Republic forcers were surprised to discover.
1. An evil plot by the empire to capture (insert name of annoying
child of main character)
2. An army of droids with red eyes that move from side to side
3. Han wears a toupe
4. A main character had children who weren't twins
While seeking to find a solution to this surprising turn of events.
1. Leia
2. Han
3. Lando
4. Wedge's aun't Mabel
crashes on
1. Correlia
2. Kessel
3. Dagobah
4. Ork
and is attacked by
1. the spirit of a long dead Sith Lord
2. 10 metre long leaping orange sith sheep
3. flying purple people eaters
4. vicious knights who say 'ni'
Just when all seems hopeless
1. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker saves the day
2. 5 year old jedi kid saves the day
3. A TIE fighter shot down years ago and light years away at the Battle
of Yavin, still spinning out of control, crashes on the baddie
4. Someone remembers to use the force
It soon becomes apparent that the empire are planning to use a new
weapon that
1. Destroys planets
2. Destroys solar systems
3. Destroys mynocks
4. Ruffles Lando's hair
When the empire test their new weapon
1. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker saves the day
2. It destroys a race of highly intelligent peaceful beings who
are noted for their singing and remarkable macrame skills
3. They forget to load it
4. Admiral Ackbar shows up and destroys their entire fleet with
his b-wing and a rather large docking claw
During the brief peace that follows, Lando
1. wins coruscant in a game of tiddliwinks and then loses it
betting on blob races
2. wins the falcon again in a game of sabacc with Han and then
gives it back in return for a snappy new cape.
3. wins some credits, buys some flowers and then offers them to
Mara Jade who promptly plants them where the sun don't shine
4. wins some credibility and friends (on second thought - that's
a bit too far fetched)
While
1. on a diplomatic mission to bring peace to two warring worlds
who threaten the peace of the entire new republic
2. on a holiday
3. doing a bit of spring cleaning
4. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker is saving the day
(insert name of one of the few characters in the entire galaxy who
anything interesting actually happens to) just happens to be in the
right place at the right time to
1. foil an imperial plot
2. witness a marvel of nature that only happens every 2836485
years
3. discover a secret imperial installation hidden years ago by
the emperor
4. help Jedi Master Luke Skywalker save the day
This leads them to the conclusion that
1. the empire is almost beaten
2. the emperor has returned as a clone (again!!!)
3. the waterboy is the grandson of the great jedi mrgump erflishp
and has the potential to top the class at Jedi Master Luke Skywalker's
academy
4. wookies that have just eaten green eggs and nerf have bad
breath
In the exiting climax to the story
1. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker gets beaten up by ysalamiri draped
nerf herders and then saves the day
2. the bad guy is betrayed by his most trusted ally and retires,
quite upset, to a life of solitude in the bfashrishrit force monastery
on the remote planet of Barff
3. Bobba Fett appears, looks tough, get's his butt kicked and
appears to die (until fans miss him enough to drag him out for another
story)
4. Lobot is revealed to be a Borg operative (oops - wrong world
there)
There you have it. It's a proven formula. It's true. People buy this
stuff.
<disclaimer>I actually do like Star Wars a lot and I like some of the
novels but I do find some of them a bit hard to swallow. See follow up
post</disclaimer>
Steve O'Neil
http://www.oneil.com.au/steve/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
edited:
the second image has a delicious insert:
Authors of
Delusions of Grandeur
(replace the names for DUne characters and planets and presto!)
Just follow the outline below, pick appropriate options and you've got
your very own authentic SW Expanded Universe novel.
1. 1 year after the battle of Endor
2. 5 years after the battle of Endor
3. 20 years after the battle of Endor
4. during tea at the battle of Endor
Rebel/New Republic forcers were surprised to discover.
1. An evil plot by the empire to capture (insert name of annoying
child of main character)
2. An army of droids with red eyes that move from side to side
3. Han wears a toupe
4. A main character had children who weren't twins
While seeking to find a solution to this surprising turn of events.
1. Leia
2. Han
3. Lando
4. Wedge's aun't Mabel
crashes on
1. Correlia
2. Kessel
3. Dagobah
4. Ork
and is attacked by
1. the spirit of a long dead Sith Lord
2. 10 metre long leaping orange sith sheep
3. flying purple people eaters
4. vicious knights who say 'ni'
Just when all seems hopeless
1. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker saves the day
2. 5 year old jedi kid saves the day
3. A TIE fighter shot down years ago and light years away at the Battle
of Yavin, still spinning out of control, crashes on the baddie
4. Someone remembers to use the force
It soon becomes apparent that the empire are planning to use a new
weapon that
1. Destroys planets
2. Destroys solar systems
3. Destroys mynocks
4. Ruffles Lando's hair
When the empire test their new weapon
1. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker saves the day
2. It destroys a race of highly intelligent peaceful beings who
are noted for their singing and remarkable macrame skills
3. They forget to load it
4. Admiral Ackbar shows up and destroys their entire fleet with
his b-wing and a rather large docking claw
During the brief peace that follows, Lando
1. wins coruscant in a game of tiddliwinks and then loses it
betting on blob races
2. wins the falcon again in a game of sabacc with Han and then
gives it back in return for a snappy new cape.
3. wins some credits, buys some flowers and then offers them to
Mara Jade who promptly plants them where the sun don't shine
4. wins some credibility and friends (on second thought - that's
a bit too far fetched)
While
1. on a diplomatic mission to bring peace to two warring worlds
who threaten the peace of the entire new republic
2. on a holiday
3. doing a bit of spring cleaning
4. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker is saving the day
(insert name of one of the few characters in the entire galaxy who
anything interesting actually happens to) just happens to be in the
right place at the right time to
1. foil an imperial plot
2. witness a marvel of nature that only happens every 2836485
years
3. discover a secret imperial installation hidden years ago by
the emperor
4. help Jedi Master Luke Skywalker save the day
This leads them to the conclusion that
1. the empire is almost beaten
2. the emperor has returned as a clone (again!!!)
3. the waterboy is the grandson of the great jedi mrgump erflishp
and has the potential to top the class at Jedi Master Luke Skywalker's
academy
4. wookies that have just eaten green eggs and nerf have bad
breath
In the exiting climax to the story
1. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker gets beaten up by ysalamiri draped
nerf herders and then saves the day
2. the bad guy is betrayed by his most trusted ally and retires,
quite upset, to a life of solitude in the bfashrishrit force monastery
on the remote planet of Barff
3. Bobba Fett appears, looks tough, get's his butt kicked and
appears to die (until fans miss him enough to drag him out for another
story)
4. Lobot is revealed to be a Borg operative (oops - wrong world
there)
There you have it. It's a proven formula. It's true. People buy this
stuff.
<disclaimer>I actually do like Star Wars a lot and I like some of the
novels but I do find some of them a bit hard to swallow. See follow up
post</disclaimer>
Steve O'Neil
http://www.oneil.com.au/steve/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
edited:
the second image has a delicious insert:
Authors of
Delusions of Grandeur
Only the books written by Frank Herbert are canon.
Who We Are and What We Stand For
viewtopic.php?p=79778#p79778
----
Carlos Santillan, aka cmsahe
Who We Are and What We Stand For
viewtopic.php?p=79778#p79778
----
Carlos Santillan, aka cmsahe
- SandChigger
- KJASF Ground Zero
- Posts: 14492
- Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
- Location: A continuing state of irritation
- Contact:
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
Eeew. "Did you see the Adam's apple on that broad?"Omphalos wrote:Is that just a bad sound recording, or does Becky really sound like a dude?
Ooh, goody, new fodder for the collateral damage feeding frenzy! More grist for the mill!
"Fodder?" asked Jabecca, suddenly aware of her surroundings and looking around. "Grist? Is someone making bread?"
"Let the dead give water to the dead. As for me, it's NO MORE FUCKING TEARS!"
- Omphalos
- Inglorious Bastard
- Posts: 6677
- Joined: 05 Feb 2008 11:07
- Location: The Mighty Central Valley of California
- Contact:
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
I knew what I was creating as I typed that last message.
It'd be great if we could get a recording of Rebecca saying "Wea tod banto, lockno, rigala, Solo-san!"
It'd be great if we could get a recording of Rebecca saying "Wea tod banto, lockno, rigala, Solo-san!"
- TheDukester
- Posts: 3808
- Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
- Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
I could barely listen to her in the video I posted. She sounded nervous and unsure of herself, and she has no presentation skills at all. I made it to about the two-minute mark.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.
- Hunchback Jack
- Posts: 1983
- Joined: 30 May 2008 15:02
- Location: California, USA
Re: Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549
So Dukester, did it make you laugh with incredulity, or seethe with unmitigated fury? Or ...?
I'm reluctant to watch it if my blood pressure will suffer.
HBJ
I'm reluctant to watch it if my blood pressure will suffer.
HBJ
"The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars."
- Carl Sagan
I'm still very proud of The Quarry but … let's face it; in the end the real best way to sign off would have been with a great big rollicking Culture novel.
- Iain Banks
- Carl Sagan
I'm still very proud of The Quarry but … let's face it; in the end the real best way to sign off would have been with a great big rollicking Culture novel.
- Iain Banks