Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 05 Mar 2009 12:22

sarcasm? no i was going for irony.

i don't know if i should be honored that so many people thought my snippet was funny, or horrified that you recognized who i was modelling...

at least i don't deliver my shit orally.

Tleszer · Post by **Tleszer** » 05 Mar 2009 12:43

Ampoliros wrote:at least i don't deliver my shit orally.

That would just be disgusting. BTW, I wouldn't be surprised if that was a fetish. Is there something you would like to tell us, Ampoliros?

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 05 Mar 2009 19:50

that i love oral? i'm male, do i therefore need to state that for the record that i love oral?

Post by **Freakzilla** » 05 Mar 2009 20:21

Ampoliros wrote:that i love oral? i'm male, do i therefore need to state that for the record that i love oral?

It's a given.

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 06 Mar 2009 01:50

Oh, this one is just priceless. I fear SandRider's head might actually explode ...

http://www.dunenovels.com/blog/page089.html

Here's a challenge: try to limit yourself to no more than three laugh-out-loud moments when you discover how the shit-Dune books are "edited."

My personal favorites:

1. "Brian and I brainstorm ..."

Yeah, that must really be something to behold.

2. "... which scenes play best to our individual strengths."

And which strengths would these be again? For instance: what, exactly, are Brian Herbert's strengths as an author?

3. "... I delivered it to my group of test readers, who were the first objective outsiders to read the novel."

The "test readers" thing never, ever fails to make me laugh. Either these morons are completely incapable of doing the task they've been assigned, or else they're nothing but a group of yes-men.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 06 Mar 2009 04:48

Sheesh, when did he slip that shit post in? I just checked a few hours ago and didn't see it.

(I was deliberately ignoring the previous post on his new slash epic about Batman meating Superman: Enemas and Analities.)

This is just more myth building. Trying to reinforce the idea that Bobo really has something to do with the production of these books.

Note again, though:

After they gave us their comments, Brian did another revision, then I did a final read-through and edit (the one I just finished last week). Rebecca completed the process with her very detailed copy edit, after which the book is finally ready to go to the publisher for production.

Kevin & 'Bovecca are again the last to see it off.

Sure, he says he and Brian both look over it again before typesetting, and both go over the galley proofs, but what do you want to bet Kevin's the last one to see things then, too?

As usual, the cybersuck brigade on MySpace is eating it up:

(some cat thing with a fat ass) wrote:Wait. wait. wait. Did I miss something? Is this another novel? What happened to Jessica of Dune? That is still coming right? Is this a different novel? When does this take place in the timeline? I have been trying to keep up but you write sooo many books and sooo fast. It is kinda sad that you can write books faster then I can keep up when they are coming out lol. Well what ever books you write I will read even the superman ones (more of a marvel fan myself...) You are the best man. God bless you!!

Pay attention, STUPID.

D Squared wrote:The title of Jessica was changed to Winds about a week ago.

Remember him from DN? It looks like he has crawled just about as far up TheKJA's ass as it's possible to go.

Docker’s Guild wrote:WOW... I thought making records was hard.... !

You just don't know how hard ART is. Ask Kevin. He knows ART quite well.

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 06 Mar 2009 11:16

Isn't this just a re-hash of an old blog entry? seems i've read this before with a different title than Whinings of Dune.

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 06 Mar 2009 11:56

It's more of a Frankenstein's monster of a blog entry, rather than a straight re-hash. Bits and pieces of it have been mentioned here and there in various entries over the last couple of years.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 06 Mar 2009 17:10

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to bother blogging it myself. There's absolutely nothing new there that he hasn't written before, just the particulars dealing with Jessica's Wind.

It's more of a canonical statement of "our method", something for him to point back to in the future, like the post with the floppy pix.

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 09 Mar 2009 13:15

Jessica Has Wind on Dune actually causes computers to crash. That says a lot.

Details at The Asshat's self-indulgent Twitter page.

Seraphan · Post by **Seraphan** » 09 Mar 2009 13:44

Busy little fucker isnt he?

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 09 Mar 2009 14:06

Oh, he likes to think so. Note, again (scroll down a bit), how he has to justify his "working day" to anyone who will listen.

His insecurities really come to the forefront on that subject. He knows that walking around and scaring squirrels isn't really "work."

Robspierre · Post by **Robspierre** » 10 Mar 2009 00:08

Dumb ass uses MS Word.

Shakes head.

Rob

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 10 Mar 2009 00:27

Yeah, I don't get that shit at all. I mean, he's a Mac user, right?

Why the hell would a Mac user ever even want to use MS Word?

What do you use, Rob? I use Nisus Writer Pro myself, but there are plenty of alternatives.

And I don't buy the "for better compatibility with Windows users" bullshit, either. That's why we have RT(D)F, PDF, etc.

Fucking moron.

(I mean, come on: Word is shit software. Ugh.)

cmsahe · Post by **cmsahe** » 10 Mar 2009 02:51

DuneFishUK wrote:

Throne of Dune

Alejandro Jodorowsky casts Salvador Dalí as the Emperor for his Dune movie:

Dalí shows its enthusiasm for the role of the Emperor and when I gave him my questionnaire while saying to him: "I came prepared". He answers me: "Me also". From a pocket he pulls the drawing of the toilet made with the two dolphins: "It is completely necessary to see the Emperor making wee and excrement". I ask to him whether he is ready to show his sex and his anus and he says to me that not and that he would like to be doubled...

inhuien · Post by **inhuien** » 10 Mar 2009 05:13

spellchecking the final, clean manuscript for WINDS OF DUNE crashed MS Word! too many weird words, I guess. Thank god for backups.

Not too many weird words you semiliterate, simply too much shite.

Mr. Teg · Post by **Mr. Teg** » 10 Mar 2009 05:47

Damn, even MS WORD doesn't like KJA's writing!

Unfront · Post by **Unfront** » 10 Mar 2009 17:19

Ok, I think we should start a second thread for "Jessica Breaks Wind of Dune" (or whatever they are calling it at the moment) that tracks how fast the sales plummet and posts the 1 star reviews (for posterity just incase they are deleted by the borg).

Sandchigger, care to assist? You have done a heckuva job on tracking the flagging sales of PoD, I think this would be right up yor alley.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 10 Mar 2009 19:31

Dude ... I'm already counting down the days on Amazon.

(About 144 togo now, I believe.)

"Breaking Wind" breaking news:

Amazon.com Sales Rank: #179,569 in Books

Unfront · Post by **Unfront** » 10 Mar 2009 19:55

I cannot wait!

Hmmmm...they had gummy worms for Paul of Dune... wonder what sort of quitsie gimmick they will throw in this time? Chili? Perhaps we should all eat a BIG bowl of chili two to four hours prior to their signings.....then attend. We can provide the appropriate setting for the Winds of Dune.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 10 Mar 2009 20:22

Well ... while it was still "Jessica of Dune" the gimmick was going to be gummi stick tampons, but I assume that plan's now in the crapper.

I don't know ... maybe they'll hook up with Anheuser-Busch and do a Spice Bud & Beans deal with free buttplugs?

God, I must be ill....

Tleszer · Post by **Tleszer** » 10 Mar 2009 21:13

SandChigger wrote:Well ... while it was still "Jessica of Dune" the gimmick was going to be gummi stick tampons, but I assume that plan's now in the crapper.

I don't know ... maybe they'll hook up with Anheuser-Busch and do a Spice Bud & Beans deal with free buttplugs?

God, I must be ill....

You're truly, truly sick and troubled.

Robspierre · Post by **Robspierre** » 10 Mar 2009 23:44

SandChigger wrote:Yeah, I don't get that shit at all. I mean, he's a Mac user, right?

Why the hell would a Mac user ever even want to use MS Word?

What do you use, Rob? I use Nisus Writer Pro myself, but there are plenty of alternatives.

And I don't buy the "for better compatibility with Windows users" bullshit, either. That's why we have RT(D)F, PDF, etc.

Fucking moron.

(I mean, come on: Word is shit software. Ugh.)

Pages is my main word processor, I have Iwork '09, use Keynote a lot for school, followed by Neo-Office for the few really weird MS formats, and for my script writing, Final Draft 7.

Rob

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 11 Mar 2009 01:09

OK. I have Pages but haven't played around with it much, since I'm used to using Nisus. Keynote is cool. I haven't tried out the new spreadsheet app yet, though, have you? (I use Mariner Calc instead of Excel.)

The set-up at work doesn't like the docx Word format. If I can't read something, I ask the sender to reformat and resend it. If they can't be bothered, it ain't worth my time. (Amazing how that works on both students and office staff.

)

(Sir Tleszer: I'm actually not the least bit troubled about anything these days; that's all an act. As for the sicko bits, though....)

Hunchback Jack · Post by **Hunchback Jack** » 11 Mar 2009 04:32

It occurred to me that when the book was called JoD that the freebies would still be Gummi Worms ... but with Jessicated Coconut on them!

(Sorry, it's 2am here. Brain's a bit fried)

It also occurred to me that the title changed from Jessica to Winds to distance the next book from the travesty that PoD was (by making it less obviously part of the same series). But that could just be wishful thinking on my part.

HBJ