Twitter Wars!

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 26 Mar 2009 19:30

Shameless Hack wrote:What to do after Batman/Superman first meeting?

Wait! I know this one!

Another long series of scenes, without any of that icky plot or character development stuff getting in the way?

Did I get it, Kevvie?

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 26 Mar 2009 20:29

Don't get me started, right after my Marie Fenring rant is my "KJA thinks Batman is just a guy with cool toys" rant.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 26 Mar 2009 21:52

Ooh ... he's posted another Roswillsex track on MySpace!

[swoons]

GamePlayer · Post by **GamePlayer** » 26 Mar 2009 22:02

OH...MY...GAWD...

Ampoliros...your post...it just hit me...

Is KJA one of those that resents other people for enjoying the great works that he does not? You all must know the type; we've all known them. The type that say; "Frank Herbert is overrated, Tolkein ain't that great, what is to see in Alan Moore, why is Hemingway celebrated, what is it about Orwell", blah, blah, blah...

Is KJA that kind of punk that proudly proclaims his hate of the great works because he thinks it makes him unique? Because he thinks himself a trailblazing intellectual by doing so? Because he thinks it sets him apart from the crowd?

I THINK HE IS! In fact, I'm sure of it! This explains so much about his psychology. He doesn't like Dune because he doesn't get it. Of course, we knew KJA didn't get Dune before, but now I understand the pathology of why he doesn't get it. I now understand this one particular aspect of his psyche, through all the things he's said about writing, his work and the fans. All the insults and imagined slights. Why he marginalizes his critics. Why he's insecure. Why he resents the reason for his success.

Kevin J Anderson can't criticize Dune because that's his paycheck. Same with Star Wars. But that's why KJA so fervently resents them and so insecurely downplays that his career is built upon exploited franchised fiction. Most important of all, KJA's distaste for Dune is WHY he makes so many continuity mistakes. KJA can't actually stand to read the Dune books! If he can't stand the books, how can he write proper continuity? He can't...and he doesn't!

And it get's better.

The HLP want to write prequels and sequels to Dune. Lots of them to fully seize advantage of the lucrative earning potential from Frank's name, work and reputation. But Frank Herbert is so admired and was such an incredible writing talent, most professional writers would refuse to write sequels out of respect. Others know they could never match Herbert's writing and humbly decline. Still others would accept the challenge, but would never agree to write more than a book or two. So who do the HLP hire to write these dozens of Dune prequels and sequels that would assuredly sell no matter who's name was on it?

A man who doesn't understand the depth of Dune, only it's surface...
A man who can write copious amounts of text quickly...
A man with the voracious tastes of an adolescent mind...
A man in total denial of his own mediocrity...
A man named Kevin J. Anderson.

Kevin J. Anderson can exploit Dune without even blinking because to this man, the original Dune did nothing for him as a reader. To this man, Dune was overrated. To this man, colourful window dressing is all Dune ever was. To this man, Dune has no breadth and subtlety of a great work of literature. To this man, Frank Herbert is a, and I quote, "critical darling".

How could I not have made this connection before? It's so perfect. It's so clear. It's so TRUE. My gawd, the sheer tragedy of it all. The total disregard for the original work. The exploitation without conscience. I never understood it all until just this moment.

diabolical...

Schu · Post by **Schu** » 26 Mar 2009 22:07

That has the sound of a prime projection to me

well reasoned.

Redstar · Post by **Redstar** » 26 Mar 2009 22:08

Congratulations. You've broken free of the Matrix.

(But really. That's the best theory. Explains everything)

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 26 Mar 2009 22:18

Stunning. Beautiful. True.

Schu · Post by **Schu** » 26 Mar 2009 22:22

It also explains why he has plans for 12 novels (double what Frank wrote in dune): he wants Frank to fade into obscurity.

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 26 Mar 2009 22:34

Schu wrote:It also explains why he has plans for 12 novels (double what Frank wrote in dune)

And in one-quarter of the time!

Remember, too, that Keith always delivers "on time." It says so right on his blog. I think he's won some sort of On Time Award. So the preek-tards have that going for them: they will always get their swill on time.

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 27 Mar 2009 10:15

Stan: "Cartman, you don't know anything about Christianity..."
Cartman: "I know enough to know how to exploit it."

Excellent theorem GP! I propose it be written into The Law of KJA. If anyone is brave enough to try compiling it.

I'm surprised KJA didn't think to have all the books labeled Another book in the Hugo and Nebula award winning series....DUNE!

Oh, and when you skip the edit, fact check, or check for plot holes phases getting writing done 'on time' is pretty damn easy.

GamePlayer · Post by **GamePlayer** » 27 Mar 2009 11:52

Thanks all.
Perhaps our collection should be called The Miseducation of KJA

At the very least, I'm adding this to my "Best of" thread here on Jacurutu.

Seraphan · Post by **Seraphan** » 27 Mar 2009 15:21

You really hit the mark, GP. Well done.

Post by **Freakzilla** » 27 Mar 2009 15:29

It would be interesting if we could find some KJA comments to back this up. You know, out of context quotes we could put a negative spin on.

A Thing of Eternity · Post by **A Thing of Eternity** » 27 Mar 2009 15:34

Wow, GP... I think you've finally figured out how KJA (and probably Brian too, we know for sure that Dune is over his head) can sleep at night doing such poor work on one of the most important SF series of all time - because, to him, it isn't one of the most important.

This is a zen-awakening moment.

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 27 Mar 2009 15:43

Reminds me a lot of Chiggie's theory that Bobo really doesn't give a damn, either. Hiring a notorious hack, writing a bunch of nonsense, and cashing the checks is just a way for him to get back at Frank.

I think this theory gained enough traction a few years ago that Idiots One and Two actually addressed it at the "official" Dune blog. I'll see if I can find it.

Post by **Freakzilla** » 27 Mar 2009 15:48

Yes, Byron seemed to get defensive/offended if you even hinted anything like "Brian is getting revenge against Frank for being a lowsy father by attempting to ruin his legacy."

If it's true, at least he was smart enough to do it in a way that made lots of money... but then he'd be dumb enough to believe that all the books KJA ever writes in his life will never add up to one FH book.

Schu · Post by **Schu** » 29 Mar 2009 04:17

Freakzilla wrote:Yes, Byron seemed to get defensive/offended if you even hinted anything like "Brian is getting revenge against Frank for being a lowsy father by attempting to ruin his legacy."

If it's true, at least he was smart enough to do it in a way that made lots of money... but then he'd be dumb enough to believe that all the books KJA ever writes in his life will never add up to one FH book sentence.

fixed, the bits in red are to be disregarded.

Redstar · Post by **Redstar** » 02 Apr 2009 10:25

April Fools! KJA makes his own mistakes, duh.

TheKJA
WINDS OF DUNE came back from the copy editor today. Did we get an intelligent one this time, or a frustrated aspiring writer?
6:06 AM Apr 1st from web

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 02 Apr 2009 11:56

Redstar wrote:April Fools! KJA makes his own mistakes, duh.
TheKJA
WINDS OF DUNE came back from the copy editor today. Did we get an intelligent one this time, or a frustrated aspiring writer?
6:06 AM Apr 1st from web

wait is that a joke or an actually KJA twat?

I got 50$ on KJA being mad that some "frustrated aspiring writer" was the one who made him change the name of Jessica of Dune. Fucking Hack, take responsibility for the fact your writing sucks. It's not the editor's job to make your book good. I imagine soon it will be some "Whiny aspiring Editor "in-chief" that's telling him to put Leto and Irulan together into one book. Looks like Sands of Dune will be the last dune book.

But what do I know, i'm just an unpublished, un-nominated 20 years ago Talifan who reads "critical darlings".

Maybe KJA will become a tween sensation with his new Terrible Incontinence and go on to being a rock star on the Disney Channel, and we can forget him.

Hey KJA, don't you want to write any more Star Wars? Or did some Lucas-wannabe exec tell you to stop shitting in that playground as well, now that Lucas's kids were old enough to read and he didn't want them exposed to garbage.

Redstar · Post by **Redstar** » 02 Apr 2009 12:04

Ampoliros wrote:
Redstar wrote:April Fools! KJA makes his own mistakes, duh.
TheKJA
WINDS OF DUNE came back from the copy editor today. Did we get an intelligent one this time, or a frustrated aspiring writer?
6:06 AM Apr 1st from web
wait is that a joke or an actually KJA twat?

It's real, but it was posted yesterday... So I was trying to find some prank in his post, but the prank is that he's been published.

Ampoliros · Post by **Ampoliros** » 02 Apr 2009 12:42

Its possible that KJA was trying to post an april fools

but i doubt it.

I'd love to see an interview where they ask him what he feels was his worst book, or biggest mistake.

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 02 Apr 2009 13:48

Oh, it's real. Just more of Keith's giant ego; clearly, anyone who can't see the brilliance in his first-draft prose is either stupid or jealous. It's pure KJA.

Good discussion at the Chig Blog, too.

SandChigger · Post by **SandChigger** » 02 Apr 2009 17:35

This is brilliant!

TheKJA
Imposter alert: "TehKJA" is not me.
about 6 hours ago from web

Is it one of us?

You have to request to "follow" the person's updates, so I don't know yet if the content is as good as the concept.

Either way, getting him to notice and be worried enough about it to warn people off is a definite victory for someone!

Hunchback Jack · Post by **Hunchback Jack** » 02 Apr 2009 21:53

Yeah, my thoughts exactly:

Okay, which one of you is "TehKJA"?

HBJ

TheDukester · Post by **TheDukester** » 02 Apr 2009 21:54

Is it already deleted? Spelled slightly differently? I can't find it anywhere ...