Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

inhuien wrote:4 people in the carriage of a train - a Scotsman, a
> pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and an
> Englishman.It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In
> the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and
> when the train emerges from the tunnel the Englishman is
> rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.

> > The old lady thinks "I bet that Englishman
> fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him".
The pretty young blonde thinks " I bet the
> Englishman tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by
> mistake,and she hit him".

> > The Englishman thinks "I bet that Scotsman fondled the
> > blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me
> and hit me".

> > The Scotsman thinks "I hope there's another
> tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that English twat again".

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8] Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Eyes High wrote:Thought some of you might get of kick out of this. A male friend of mine sent this email to me.

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8] Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

I know some of you might have seen it already, but I thought it was funny. Enjoy.

GamePlayer wrote:Somehow they missed "Does this make me look fat?" which is a no-win question

Lil Wayne in the Studio

The Grammy winner spits from the top
of the dome for this track “Different Girls.”

SandRider wrote:can someone explain to me what this means :

Lil Wayne in the Studio

The Grammy winner spits from the top
of the dome for this track “Different Girls.”

Eyes High wrote:

GamePlayer wrote:Somehow they missed "Does this make me look fat?" which is a no-win question

Too true..I'll give you that one. Although that might actually should go on a list of questions that have no right answers: such as: "Do you think she's pretty?"

Ampoliros wrote:

Eyes High wrote:

GamePlayer wrote:Somehow they missed "Does this make me look fat?" which is a no-win question

Too true..I'll give you that one. Although that might actually should go on a list of questions that have no right answers: such as: "Do you think she's pretty?"

Just grab her ass and say "Feels Alright to me"

By her I mean your significant other, not the woman she's asking if you think is pretty.


but what do i know i'm single again.

Tleszer wrote:

Ampoliros wrote:

Eyes High wrote:

GamePlayer wrote:Somehow they missed "Does this make me look fat?" which is a no-win question

Too true..I'll give you that one. Although that might actually should go on a list of questions that have no right answers: such as: "Do you think she's pretty?"

Just grab her ass and say "Feels Alright to me"

By her I mean your significant other, not the woman she's asking if you think is pretty.


but what do i know i'm single again.

You mean it's wrong to fondle the other woman's ass? What a world!

Freakzilla wrote:

Tleszer wrote:

Ampoliros wrote:

Eyes High wrote:

GamePlayer wrote:Somehow they missed "Does this make me look fat?" which is a no-win question

Too true..I'll give you that one. Although that might actually should go on a list of questions that have no right answers: such as: "Do you think she's pretty?"

Just grab her ass and say "Feels Alright to me"

By her I mean your significant other, not the woman she's asking if you think is pretty.


but what do i know i'm single again.

You mean it's wrong to fondle the other woman's ass? What a world!

What am I supposed to do when I get bored in line at the bank?

Omphalos wrote:I have my wife trained to yell "boobs and bush!" whenever Im not in the room and said body parts come on the TV, just like in Knocked Up. Life is pretty good for me.

Tleszer wrote:

Omphalos wrote:I have my wife trained to yell "boobs and bush!" whenever Im not in the room and said body parts come on the TV, just like in Knocked Up. Life is pretty good for me.

How'd you manage that one?

Omphalos wrote:I have my wife trained to yell "boobs and bush!" whenever Im not in the room and said body parts come on the TV, just like in Knocked Up. Life is pretty good for me.

Freakzilla wrote:

Tleszer wrote:

Omphalos wrote:I have my wife trained to yell "boobs and bush!" whenever Im not in the room and said body parts come on the TV, just like in Knocked Up. Life is pretty good for me.

How'd you manage that one?

He gave up sex for a year.

Baraka Bryan wrote:

Omphalos wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:

Tleszer wrote:

Omphalos wrote:I have my wife trained to yell "boobs and bush!" whenever Im not in the room and said body parts come on the TV, just like in Knocked Up. Life is pretty good for me.

How'd you manage that one?

He gave up sex for a year.

Bah! My wife even laughs with me when I fart under the covers.

but does she laugh when you pull the dutch oven?

Nekhrun wrote:

Omphalos wrote:I have my wife trained to yell "boobs and bush!" whenever Im not in the room and said body parts come on the TV, just like in Knocked Up. Life is pretty good for me.

My wife always has Robin Meade on Headline News turned on for me in the morning when I wake up for similar reasons.