Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

Serkanner wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:

Serkanner wrote:

Freakzilla wrote: Gnomeo and Juliet

... wtf?

It's Romeo and Juliet done with ceramic garden gnomes that come to life when humans aren't around. Pretty good, if you like kids movies.

Score by Elton John.

I'm scared of garden gnomes ... and of Chucky as well.

This movie is certainly not for you, then.

Serkanner wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:

Serkanner wrote:

Freakzilla wrote: Gnomeo and Juliet

... wtf?

It's Romeo and Juliet done with ceramic garden gnomes that come to life when humans aren't around. Pretty good, if you like kids movies.

Score by Elton John.

I'm scared of garden gnomes ... and of Chucky as well.

Produced by Elton John too. I saw it recently on cable. Kids are capable of comprehending so much more than this clap-trap.

Omphalos wrote:

Serkanner wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:

Serkanner wrote:

Freakzilla wrote: Gnomeo and Juliet

... wtf?

It's Romeo and Juliet done with ceramic garden gnomes that come to life when humans aren't around. Pretty good, if you like kids movies.

Score by Elton John.

I'm scared of garden gnomes ... and of Chucky as well.

Produced by Elton John too. I saw it recently on cable. Kids are capable of comprehending so much more than this clap-trap.

Yes, but it's marketed to them well. That's what they wanted to watch.

Freakzilla wrote:

Omphalos wrote:

Serkanner wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:

Serkanner wrote:

Freakzilla wrote: Gnomeo and Juliet

... wtf?

It's Romeo and Juliet done with ceramic garden gnomes that come to life when humans aren't around. Pretty good, if you like kids movies.

Score by Elton John.

I'm scared of garden gnomes ... and of Chucky as well.

Produced by Elton John too. I saw it recently on cable. Kids are capable of comprehending so much more than this clap-trap.

Yes, but it's marketed to them well. That's what they wanted to watch.

Yep. Wonder how long it'll be before the lil ones get it?

I spent the last three months watching every episode of Star Trek: Voyager with my son. I had forgotten how truly amazing that show really was. He really liked it. My six year old daughter, who watched most of them with us, has started drawing a comic called "Borg Chicken," and walks told my neighbor about assimilation on Saturday.

To juxtapose the strength of old Star Trek with JJ Abrams is going to do, the three of us watched the newest movie this weekend. I had also forgotten what an absolute piece of shit that movie was.

Poor boy didn't get it. He said to me "I know you hated it, but it was good for me." I told him that I would weep for him after he went to bed, then tickled him until he was about to puke. All was well in the universe after that.

Voyager was never my favourite, more of a TNG and DS9 fan as a kid (watched plenty of Voyager too though).

I actually enjoyed the new movie (there's just one new one right?), but I'm hardly a ST purist or anything so as far as I know they botched the hell out of it!

The total lack of idealism and Star Trek values was only part of the problem. The other part is that virtually none of it made sense. I tried to make a mental list of bullshit I would talk about in a potential review of the movie, but the list got so big I decided I'd need to watch it again with a pen and paper.

• Red matter?
  Can't be captain if you are "emotionally compromised?"
  Shameless rehashing of old dialogue that borders on pandering?
  Character run-in coincidences on a galactic scale?
  Total character assassination by the writers?

And there are the Trekkie inconsistencies, like warp beaming and shit like that.

That's just what I remember. There was a lot more.

I haven't liked any of the movies since Wrath of Khan and don't like any of the shows besides TOS.

The latest movie made me want to vomit.

Omphalos wrote:The total lack of idealism and Star Trek values was only part of the problem. The other part is that virtually none of it made sense. I tried to make a mental list of bullshit I would talk about in a potential review of the movie, but the list got so big I decided I'd need to watch it again with a pen and paper.

• Red matter?
  Can't be captain if you are "emotionally compromised?"
  Shameless rehashing of old dialogue that borders on pandering?
  Character run-in coincidences on a galactic scale?
  Total character assassination by the writers?

And there are the Trekkie inconsistencies, like warp beaming and shit like that.

That's just what I remember. There was a lot more.

Right, I forgot the red matter... man that was bad, just horrible! Old dialogue I'm not surprised slipped past me, didn't want the original series much - the rest I agree, weak.

Must've been unobtanium.

It wasn't just that it was a made up matter that sucked, it was that the whole concept and execution sucked. This stuff is THAT powerful, but for some reason needs to be delivered deep within a planet? DUMB.

Don't forget the whole time travel aspect.

I REALLY hates me some time travel. BAD.

(And I've only half-watched the piece of shit during wakeful periods on a trans-Pacific flight. Fuck Abrams. With a blunt broomstick. And a bedknob or two. )

I think me having enjoyed it must have been due to turning off my brain, as I am prone to do with SF on film.

That movie did not go more than one minute without presenting something that failed to make sense.

Omphalos wrote:That movie did not go more than one minute without presenting something that failed to make sense.

That .. but it flies past so quickly and fluidly that you simply don't have the time or the inclination to flag the bullshit. I enjoyed it hugely the first time I saw it, but hated it the second time.

The time travel aspect fitted, although they were on about getting old-Kirk involved in the sequel, which would be a terrible idea.

My theory is that at the end of the third film they will discombobulate the Nu-Trek timeline (for some universe-threatening reason that has already killed our favourite characters). Kirk goes back and saves his dad, and sets up the original timeline as it was. Cue fast-cut flashbacks and flashforwards.

DuneFishUK wrote:

Omphalos wrote:That movie did not go more than one minute without presenting something that failed to make sense.

That .. but it flies past so quickly and fluidly that you simply don't have the time or the inclination to flag the bullshit. I enjoyed it hugely the first time I saw it, but hated it the second time.

Exactly how I felt. It was so obvious after the second viewing that I was almost too to admit that I liked it the first time. Though I had a LOT of nagging feelings after that first viewing, the only criticisms I had were of the red matter and the "emitionally compromised" bullshit.

I think I'm going to write a review of the movie.

Omphalos wrote:

DuneFishUK wrote:

Omphalos wrote:That movie did not go more than one minute without presenting something that failed to make sense.

That .. but it flies past so quickly and fluidly that you simply don't have the time or the inclination to flag the bullshit. I enjoyed it hugely the first time I saw it, but hated it the second time.

Exactly how I felt. It was so obvious after the second viewing that I was almost too to admit that I liked it the first time. Though I had a LOT of nagging feelings after that first viewing, the only criticisms I had were of the red matter and the "emitionally compromised" bullshit.

I think I'm going to write a review of the movie.

Maybe that's part of why I didn't notice a lot of what you'd pointed out, I've only seen it the once.

Omphalos wrote:I think I'm going to write a review of the movie.

Don't forget them building the starship on the planet's surface.

That was one stupid piece of shit that glared wetly even in the trailers.

SandChigger wrote:

Omphalos wrote:I think I'm going to write a review of the movie.

Don't forget them building the starship on the planet's surface.

That was one stupid piece of shit that glared wetly even in the trailers.

I don''t think the thing could even support its own weight much less take off.

Yeah, I've also only seen it the once, and quite enjoyed it as a mindless action SF flick with some random nods to its predecessors. I guess I was prepared to give it a lot of Trek canon license, too, given that its a reboot.

I guess the problem is that it shouldn't have *been* a mindless action SF flick.

HBJ

SUSPENSORS!!!

SandChigger wrote:SUSPENSORS!!!

Sure, you start with them and build the ship around 'em?

Ask JJ.

SandChigger wrote:

Omphalos wrote:I think I'm going to write a review of the movie.

Don't forget them building the starship on the planet's surface.

That was one stupid piece of shit that glared wetly even in the trailers.

That was on the list. Along with the Local fuckup just kinda showing up with the trained cadets to go to space without bothering to enlist.

SandChigger wrote:

Omphalos wrote:I think I'm going to write a review of the movie.

Don't forget them building the starship on the planet's surface.

That was one stupid piece of shit that glared wetly even in the trailers.

That bugged me too, even with the obvious grav-tech in ST, the resources to build on the surface are silly.

Mindless is what I expect from filmed SF though, every once in a while I'm pleasantly surprised (District 9).