Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

Posted: **21 Dec 2008 13:23**

Three people killed by foot massage machines

A company that manufactures foot massage machines has issued a warning to customers after three people accidentally killed themselves while attempting to use the machine on their neck/shoulders:

In the most recent case, a woman removed the cloth cover of the machine and ended up strangling herself when her shirt collar was caught in its massage rollers. The other two deaths also seem to have occurred in a similar manner. No recall of the product has been issued, but the manufacturer thought it would be a good idea to issue a public warning.

Posted: **21 Dec 2008 13:27**

And it begins...

Posted: **21 Dec 2008 15:54**

I heard all three ... victims(?) were older women, which probably means they were beyond their reproductive years and any damage has already been done.

Non-Darwin Award candidates.

Posted: **21 Dec 2008 19:29**

Can't wait for the KJA version of that news item...

Turns out it weren't really human stupidity, but really a self-conscious factory robot which reprogrammed the thingie to kill-maim-burn. And he creates a transgender robot sidekick, which turns loose...

(Season special: it also turns out Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem, but Rome.)

Posted: **21 Dec 2008 20:28**

*Insert Terminator theme music here.

Dun-nun-dun-dun.

Posted: **31 Dec 2008 05:06**

Lundse wrote:(Season special: it also turns out Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem, but Rome.)

Posted: **31 Dec 2008 07:14**

Lundse wrote:(Season special: it also turns out Jesus wasn't born in Bethlehem, but Rome.)

Excellent Lundse, excellent

Posted: **31 Dec 2008 18:42**

I'm reminded of a skit from The Human Giant:

http://mtv.thehumangiant.com/videos/1580596/144266

Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

This is just too good to pass up...

This is just too good to pass up...

on the three people being killed.