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10 John Madden Quotes That Are Also Good Sex Advice



Since John Madden announced today that he is retiring from Monday Night Football, we thought it would be a good idea to look back at some of his most famous quotes (none of which are about divorce) about the sport. But as we did, we realized something - a lot of his quotes about football also happen to be great advice about sex. Here are 10 John Madden Quotes That Are Also Great Sex Advice.

10. "When your arm gets hit, the ball is not going to go where you want it to."

9. "Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon."


8. "Self-praise is for losers. Be a winner. Stand for something. Always have class, and be humble."

7. "They got to Joey Harrington physically and they got to him mentally."

6. "I think comparisons are odious."

5. "A team should never practice on a field that's not lined. Your players have to become aware of the field's boundaries."

4. "There is an absurdity in it, particularly in the relationship between the siblings."

3. "The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break."

2. "It's a big blow to the team. At the same time, it allows other people to step up, take on new roles."

1. "The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer."

finally a news worthy story posted by FZ....

I love Madden and think he is the best sports broadcaster all time hands down. I will miss him, but at least his voice will forever be in his games... I will really miss the guy.

SwordMaster wrote:finally a news worthy story posted by FZ....

Y'all wouldn't know what to do if I didn't give you topics to argue about.

Freakzilla wrote:

SwordMaster wrote:finally a news worthy story posted by FZ....

Y'all wouldn't know what to do if I didn't give you topics to argue about.

Its true, we do love it and the fictional ones even are good for a few LAWLS

But really, as a fairly hard core football fan, I will miss this guy so much. He was a staple of game nights with good football grub and beers and friends. his simple lines that are as funny as they are true, and sex advice at the same time... he is really a national treasure

I like ESPN and I Like ABC, not a big fan of Disney or NBC.. overall they royally screwed up the who Monday Night Football situation. I was completely surprised John Madden lasted this long as well as Al Michaels, wouldnt surprise me if he retires from at least MNF soon.

Watching NFL Network tonight, there is a small buzz that AL DAVIS might try and Coax John Madden back to the raiders to help with personnel in some capacity. No coaching or anything, office type stuff. I think that would be great for the game as a whole, not a fan of raiders, and I think AL DAVIS is a complete ass, but again overall for the sport, to loose madden completely is a frakking trajedy.

I salute him with highest respect, as a coach, announcer, and all around football titan!!!

VIVA LA MADDEN!!

Trang

I don't like Al Micheals.

Freakzilla wrote:I don't like Al Micheals.

I like his steady flow and voice, but that dude has brown teeth!

I think he smokes high grade hydroponic shit he grows in his own basement. Im serious try to get a look at his teeth he does a good job of not showing them on camera, but the guys must smoke something!@#$!

SwordMaster wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:I don't like Al Micheals.

I like his steady flow and voice, but that dude has brown teeth!

I think he smokes high grade hydroponic shit he grows in his own basement. Im serious try to get a look at his teeth he does a good job of not showing them on camera, but the guys must smoke something!@#$!

He's just so serious all the time, I've never noticed his teeth. I guess you have to contrast with Madded but damn it man, it's a GAME!

there goes Frank Caliendo's whole act

Good riddance to John Madden, and Frank's act.

Freakzilla wrote:10 John Madden Quotes That Are Also Good Sex Advice

Someone should take him shopping for a manzierre.

Omphalos wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:10 John Madden Quotes That Are Also Good Sex Advice

Someone should take him shopping for a manzierre.

I like "The Bro" better.

Freakzilla wrote:

Omphalos wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:10 John Madden Quotes That Are Also Good Sex Advice

Someone should take him shopping for a manzierre.

I like "The Bro" better.

Nah, it's too ethnic.