Freakzilla wrote:(Atlanta doesn't have any 300-year-old buildings, they were burned down by Gen. Sherman.)
ah, that's where the ancient labyrinth comes in.
now that you have stumbled upon The Secret, young Freakzilla, you must learn The Truth.
You see, this "nefarious cult" is actually the remnants of the Last Templars, those who
escaped the Friday the 13th Massacre and fled "across the Great Ocean", carrying with
them their last remaining relic, The Holy Grail's Coaster, clearly seen in "The Last Supper",
protecting the delicate Lebanese cedar table. (Jesus
was a carpenter, after all - he
did love his wood)
The Last Templars made their way to The New World, where they had to hide-out from the
crazy Mormons already screwing up the mythology of the natives & burying lots of stuff to
be discovered in "The Latter Days". (This gave them the idea to create the labyrinth to hide
the Holy Coaster)
And there lay the powerful relic for centuries, until the evil head of the Luciferians, a skinny
lawyer from Illinois (the villains are
always skinny lawyers, BTW) stumbled across a
mysterious letter in "The Book", the secret documents given only to POTUS(es).
This led to an elaborate and needlessly complex plan to put the sovereign state of Georgia
under Federal control, so that Lincoln's "private army" of New Templars could search Atlanta
for the relic that legend held would deliver total control of just about everything.
But there was one hope : A brave young Calvary Captain, one Robert Edward Lee, while
serving on the Texas frontier, fell down a hole one day while screwing around in the hills
west of San Antonio, and discovered a cave drawing, or a chest of secrets, or some shit,
and learned of the Coaster.
When Lincoln seized power and began his obvious plotting to take over Georgia, Lee knew
what must be done: war, war to save not only the South, but the world, itself.
Spoiler:
Sherman did in fact find the Coaster, but not knowing the true value of the item, sent it on
to Washington as a "Christmas present for the President". Due to inept handling by the Postal
Service, however, the package did not arrive until Mid-April.
By that time, General Lee had already learned of the above events, and bravely held off
the merciless attacks of Grant outside Petersburg, doing everything he could to stave off
the collapse of the South, until his own super secret agent could find the relic, kill the evil
Lincoln, reveal the True Cause for The War, reunite America, and go kick Canada's ass.
But Lee's plan went awry when the agent, a former small-time actor, fell under the spell of
the Holy Coaster, and took it for himself, fleeing to Texas....