Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549

[Freakzilla]

Fifth, Ditch the hack and blame all the bullshit on him.

Sixth, Apologize deeply to offended fans, do complete self-remake-over.

Seventh, Emerge from shitstorm smelling like roses.


I'm telling ya, this is what's going to happen.

No way. I don't think he's smart enough to come out of this clean.

[Hunchback Jack]

I think KJA is actually standing quite a bit closer to the camera than the guy sitting down, and the shot was taken with a zoom lens, so you lose the perspective.

HBJ

[lotek]

he still looks like a midget
but thanks for the explanation anyway!

[Eyes High]

I think KJA is actually standing quite a bit closer to the camera than the guy sitting down, and the shot was taken with a zoom lens, so you lose the perspective.

HBJ

But wouldn't that make KJ bigger and not the people in the back?

[Aquila ka-Hecate]

I think KJA is actually standing quite a bit closer to the camera than the guy sitting down, and the shot was taken with a zoom lens, so you lose the perspective.

HBJ

But wouldn't that make KJ bigger and not the people in the back?

Nonono - he's standing in front of a projected slide.

You know - showing the audience what one of his classes look like.
Must be short on real material, then.

[TheDukester]

Good news, everyone!

If you missed it — and, let's face it, it looks only about 13 people can say they didn't miss it — the Superstars Seminar featuring Kevin "Hack For Hire" Anderson and Becky "Unpublished" Moesta can now be seen/heard on DVD and MP3!

(No, I'm not making it up).

And just check out those prices! As Eddie Murphy used to say: "What a bargain ... what a bargain for me!"

http://goo.gl/wSaB" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

+++++

The above link works just fine in all of North America except for the state of Oklahoma. Any Oklahomans clicking it will receive the "I'm-A-L33t-Haxxor!" virus instead.

[Tleszer]

Who in their right mind would pay that much for... that?

That just caused my green tushie to blush.

[Hunchback Jack]

I think that's called a desperate attempt to break even.

HBJ

[TheDukester]

Who in their right mind ...

And you could have stopped right there.

[lotek]

[Robspierre]

WOW!

I mean, I can get 99.9% of that advice for free from the likes of, uhm, let's see:

John Scalzi
Steven Pressfield
Craig Mazin (Screenplays)

and others, or I can spend a tiny bit of cash and order books from said writer's and other's, all without having to fork over $300 hard earned dineros. Money that would be better spent on, for example, writing materials, pens, pencils, paper, paper for print outs, postage to submit material, subscriptions to magazines that publish material similar to what one writes, and bills, you know, those pesky facts of life like electricity, rent, FOOD!, transportation, etc.

Rob

[Nebiros]

I know I shouldn't be posting but I can't help it, I had to share this with you guys.

It seem the Superstars writing seminar is now posted on Youtube. Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4eiWruAss0

That's just one of several videos. Have fun tearing him apart!

[Serkanner]

I can not even look at let alone listen to the man without feeling nauseated ...

We all know The Hack is all numbers when he measures his success. Still nowhere he brags about the numbers of paying visitors to the seminars. Does this mean that the numbers were so small that publishing them would show the gigantic failure this seminar was?

[lotek]

I can not even [i[look[/i] at let alone listen to the man without feeling nauseated ...

We all know The Hack is all numbers when he measures his success. Still nowhere he brags about the numbers of paying visitors to the seminars. Does this mean that the numbers were so small that publishing them would show the gigantic failure this seminar was?

yeah I remember mentionning something similar, and I must totally agree: if he could brag, he would; if he could lie and brag he would...
So no bragging means there is not even the remotest chance even for someone like K to spin his way around it!

So:

[SandChigger]

And I suppose they have posted no general pix of the audience in order to protect their "privacy".

I'll take a look Wednesday afton, this connection's too slow.

I know I shouldn't be posting...

And why might that be?

No, wait, stop, never mind! I'm sure it's some squirrelly head-fucked sort of Nebby World thing that knowing will just irritate me more than not knowing.

[TheDukester]

YouTube channel!

http://goo.gl/U121" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

My favorite part? Most of the clips say something like "viewed 7 times," or "viewed 12 times." It looks like watching Keith and Becky move their lips around isn't a big bandwidth worry for YouTube.

I haven't checked any of them out yet — for one thing, I want to keep those viewership numbers as low as possible. For another, I don't want to put my fist through my monitor.

[Weren't these geniuses just advertising DVDs for hundreds of dollars? Maybe that didn't work out so well ...]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZPej_jc ... PL&index=4[/youtube]

[SandChigger]

Yeah, I saw this when I checked in on Twitter a little while ago.

I would watch just to see if there are any shots of the audience, to see how many people were there, but I know ahead of time that there WON'T be any.

[chanilover]

$300 for some DVDs! Shameless whores!

I only watched a bit of that Youtube clip. It's the first time I've seen the Going-Out Jacket in action.

[SandChigger]

Was it—like midget furry farm porn—everything you'd hoped it would be?

[Omphalos]

Is that just a bad sound recording, or does Becky really sound like a dude?

[cmsahe]

This is waht you get for your hard earned money:
(replace the names for DUne characters and planets and presto!)



Just follow the outline below, pick appropriate options and you've got
your very own authentic SW Expanded Universe novel.

1. 1 year after the battle of Endor
2. 5 years after the battle of Endor
3. 20 years after the battle of Endor
4. during tea at the battle of Endor

Rebel/New Republic forcers were surprised to discover.

1. An evil plot by the empire to capture (insert name of annoying
child of main character)
2. An army of droids with red eyes that move from side to side
3. Han wears a toupe
4. A main character had children who weren't twins

While seeking to find a solution to this surprising turn of events.

1. Leia
2. Han
3. Lando
4. Wedge's aun't Mabel

crashes on

1. Correlia
2. Kessel
3. Dagobah
4. Ork

and is attacked by

1. the spirit of a long dead Sith Lord
2. 10 metre long leaping orange sith sheep
3. flying purple people eaters
4. vicious knights who say 'ni'

Just when all seems hopeless

1. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker saves the day
2. 5 year old jedi kid saves the day
3. A TIE fighter shot down years ago and light years away at the Battle
of Yavin, still spinning out of control, crashes on the baddie
4. Someone remembers to use the force

It soon becomes apparent that the empire are planning to use a new
weapon that

1. Destroys planets
2. Destroys solar systems
3. Destroys mynocks
4. Ruffles Lando's hair

When the empire test their new weapon

1. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker saves the day
2. It destroys a race of highly intelligent peaceful beings who
are noted for their singing and remarkable macrame skills
3. They forget to load it
4. Admiral Ackbar shows up and destroys their entire fleet with
his b-wing and a rather large docking claw

During the brief peace that follows, Lando

1. wins coruscant in a game of tiddliwinks and then loses it
betting on blob races
2. wins the falcon again in a game of sabacc with Han and then
gives it back in return for a snappy new cape.
3. wins some credits, buys some flowers and then offers them to
Mara Jade who promptly plants them where the sun don't shine
4. wins some credibility and friends (on second thought - that's
a bit too far fetched)

While

1. on a diplomatic mission to bring peace to two warring worlds
who threaten the peace of the entire new republic
2. on a holiday
3. doing a bit of spring cleaning
4. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker is saving the day

(insert name of one of the few characters in the entire galaxy who
anything interesting actually happens to) just happens to be in the
right place at the right time to

1. foil an imperial plot
2. witness a marvel of nature that only happens every 2836485
years
3. discover a secret imperial installation hidden years ago by
the emperor
4. help Jedi Master Luke Skywalker save the day

This leads them to the conclusion that

1. the empire is almost beaten
2. the emperor has returned as a clone (again!!!)
3. the waterboy is the grandson of the great jedi mrgump erflishp
and has the potential to top the class at Jedi Master Luke Skywalker's
academy
4. wookies that have just eaten green eggs and nerf have bad
breath

In the exiting climax to the story

1. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker gets beaten up by ysalamiri draped
nerf herders and then saves the day
2. the bad guy is betrayed by his most trusted ally and retires,
quite upset, to a life of solitude in the bfashrishrit force monastery
on the remote planet of Barff
3. Bobba Fett appears, looks tough, get's his butt kicked and
appears to die (until fans miss him enough to drag him out for another
story)
4. Lobot is revealed to be a Borg operative (oops - wrong world
there)

There you have it. It's a proven formula. It's true. People buy this
stuff.

<disclaimer>I actually do like Star Wars a lot and I like some of the
novels but I do find some of them a bit hard to swallow. See follow up
post</disclaimer>

Steve O'Neil
http://www.oneil.com.au/steve/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;





edited:
the second image has a delicious insert:

Authors of
Delusions of Grandeur

[SandChigger]

Is that just a bad sound recording, or does Becky really sound like a dude?

Eeew. "Did you see the Adam's apple on that broad?"

Ooh, goody, new fodder for the collateral damage feeding frenzy! More grist for the mill!

"Fodder?" asked Jabecca, suddenly aware of her surroundings and looking around. "Grist? Is someone making bread?"

[Omphalos]

I knew what I was creating as I typed that last message.

It'd be great if we could get a recording of Rebecca saying "Wea tod banto, lockno, rigala, Solo-san!"

[TheDukester]

I could barely listen to her in the video I posted. She sounded nervous and unsure of herself, and she has no presentation skills at all. I made it to about the two-minute mark.

[Hunchback Jack]

So Dukester, did it make you laugh with incredulity, or seethe with unmitigated fury? Or ...?

I'm reluctant to watch it if my blood pressure will suffer.

HBJ