Kevin and Becky will teach you to write for $549

[trang]

5 easy steps to writing success:

1. Find one or many dead or dying authors
2. Have them sign the rights to their works to you.
3. by a dictating machine
4. Find a wide open area to walk in.
5. hire 5 English interns to edit your work and submit it for you.

if that doesn't work dictate your ideas and send the tapes in a postage paid envelope to us
and we will (wink wink nudge nudge) get them published for you, sharing the rights, of course.

Fuck him and his jaba the hut wife, and the horses they road in on!! money grubbing bastards.

Next we will have the jacket and miss fatty on an infomercial on paid programming on syfry channel in the middle
of the night, "hawking his hackware's". Simulcast on the spanish networks of course.

Isnt there anyway a troop of wild badgers on PCP and grain alcohol can be loosed into their house while they're there? Call it a nature hiking accident? the jackets cologne drew the badgers in from the wild?

[Freakzilla]

Send men to summon bears and meteors...

[TheDukester]

It's just made of pure awful, isn't it?

The whole thing just screams "Late-night informercial!" And yet people will actually give this smug jacktard their money to listen to him talk about how he is made of Pure Awesomeness™ and how they are all a bunch of wannabes. The mind boggles.

(Anyone else reminded a bit of Scientology when they read through that crap? It seemed the hard sale was similar. Also, the "you're not awesome yet, but we can fix you" thing.)

[SandChigger]

Teg and I were discussing on the phone earlier this afternoon just how far we're willing to go (read: how much we're willing to pay) for shits and giggles.

I'm free in March....


Interestingly, the payment part of the process is handled on David Farland's "zenfront.com" store.

[Omphalos]

(Anyone else reminded a bit of Scientology when they read through that crap? It seemed the hard sale was similar. Also, the "you're not awesome yet, but we can fix you" thing.)

The Scientologists are much slicker than those yo-yos.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pvku53FL ... re=related[/youtube]

They've been running the hell out of these ads in Northern California lately. Wish I could real all those names on the name tag. One of them is Tieg Johnson, a pretty well known guitarist. Nice subliminal shit, guys.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgsFh87R ... 9B5F37833A[/youtube]

Don't you just love the way they morph a cross into the letter "t" at the end of those ads?

They've been running them for a while, but now that the economy is in the crapper they have been carpet bombing NorCal with them. Were not talking Bob Dobbs and the Reverend Janor Hypercleats kind of stuff, but still, every time I see one I laugh at it. I think to myself, "only I can rescue a victim from a burning car on the highway!"

[Freakzilla]

Don't you just love the way they morph a cross into the letter "t" at the end of those ads?

I noticed that. For some reason, they don't run those commercials here in the deep south.

[Mr. Teg]

Why investing in your writing “education” is essential to achieving your dreams. Why it’s more effective to learn from real, in-the-trenches authors, who have proven highly successful, than to study with college professors

yeah right in-the-trenches or in his wife's fat flaps?

~I mean who'd be stupid enough to think that education and knowledge are a hinder to telling a good story...
This man has no shame, un-fuckin'-believable!!!

Um...Frank taught college courses!

[SandChigger]

Um...Frank taught college courses!

Well, I think it should be well established by now by what he is doing that Kevin J. Anderson actually feels little or no respect for Frank Herbert or anything he did.

[Freakzilla]

Are K&B doing this on a college campus?

Seems like a hotel ballroom would be more appropriate.

[SandChigger]

Am going to give you SUCH a pinch.

Pasadena Convention Center.

The exact venue hadn't been revealed as of the last time I checked the other day, but I figure it'll be one of the eight spaces the ballroom there can be divided into. (Smallest ballroom "classroom" space seating 174.)




Edit: Oh, yeah: they've corrected the "an guarantee" mistake. But of course they didn't read about it here.

[Freakzilla]

Am going to give you SUCH a pinch.

My point being that what they are doing and the lectures Frank gave are on totally different levels.

Pasadena Convention Center.

The exact venue hadn't been revealed as of the last time I checked the other day, but I figure it'll be one of the eight spaces the ballroom there can be divided into. (Smallest ballroom "classroom" space seating 174.)

Yeah, thought so.

[Mr. Teg]

Um...Frank taught college courses!

Well, I think it should be well established by now by what he is doing that Kevin J. Anderson actually feels little or no respect for Frank Herbert or anything he did.

Oops! Tolkien was a college professor, too.

[SandChigger]

Oops! Tolkien was a college professor, too.

Yes, yes, but he was English. They're bookish to begin with, can't help themselves, the pooor things!

[Hunchback Jack]

Edit: Oh, yeah: they've corrected the "an guarantee" mistake. But of course they didn't read about it here.

Oh, that's priceless.

HBJ

[inhuien]

Um...Frank taught college courses!

Well, I think it should be well established by now by what he is doing that Kevin J. Anderson actually feels little or no respect for Frank Herbert or anything he did.

Oops! Tolkien was a college professor, too.

As popularity of Dune rose, Herbert embarked on a lecture tour of college campuses, explaining how the environmental concerns of Dune's inhabitants were analogous to our own.

Not quite the same as the moeny4golddotcom scam of the anderhacks.

[Apjak]

Just wondering...

Think about this… If you wanted to become a great actor, would you be willing to pay $999 to learn from John Travolta, Brad Pitt, Tommy Lee Jones, Jodi Foster and Tom Cruise telling you the ins and outs of the acting business for two full days? Of course you would, it would be a bargain. Paying $999 for two days of no-nonsense, candid, behind the scenes advice from five individuals of this caliber would be a steal. With this conference we’re offering you five of the Superstars of the writing world, professionals of equal caliber.

If these five actors and actress are chosen to specifically represent the five authors and authoress listed in the ad? If it is in particular order then that would mean,

Kevin J. Anderson = John Travolta
Brandon Sanderson = Brad Pitt
David Farland = Tommy Lee Jones
Rebecca Moesta = Jodi Foster
and
Eric Flint = Tom Cruise


'bout par for the course, ehh?

[inhuien]

I hope this man doesn't frequent chat rooms.

[TheDukester]

Yeah, I love the acting comparison. Like a roomful of Oscar winners and some of the most-respected actors of their generation have any similarities at all to a pathetic group of quick-buck HACKS that very few people have ever heard of. And, again, I'm forced to mention Becky: how can she be compared to anything when she has no independent credits of her own? Seriously, someone show me Becky Moesta's "body of work" (and, yes, I see the joke there).

Also, a message for the geniuses that put that ad together: Jodie Foster spells her first name "Jodie." I mean, why bother getting the basics correct, right? And she's only won like 5,000 awards and is famous throughout the world. As long as those suckers' checks clear, amIright?

(And when you fix it, make sure not to give Jacurutu credit. Again).

[Ampoliros]

I'm sure that its merely coincidence brought on by my "fanboy-induced hatred" that realizes that 2 of those actors are prominent scientologists...

[TheDukester]

You know what would be fun? Contacting the publicists for each of those actors to let them know that a for-profit enterprise is using the actors' names in advertising materials. That could easily be construed as some sort of endorsement.

I'd weep with joy if I ever saw a headline like, "Travolta, Foster, three others sue useless hack".

[TheDukester]

Anyone looking for a laugh should take a few moments to really investigate the author blurbs over on the right side of the page. A greater collection of hacks is unlikely to be found.

I'll give you the first one for free:

They say: "Day Leclaire - author of more than 50 novels, ten-time nominee for Romance Writers of America RITA Award."

I say: "Hack writer of trashy romance books. Not only that, but with a bizarre specialization: wedding night fiction."

Jesus wept; it's the hacks leading the hacks. It's just that some of them are stupid enough to give money to Anderjacket.

[Hunchback Jack]

wedding night fiction."

I don't want to know.

Well ...



... no. I don't.

HBJ

[TheDukester]

Just hit the link, Jack. You know you want to. All the cool kids are hitting that link ...

[SandChigger]

Om. Mah. Gawed.

I mean...

Ohmygawd!

Jack, don't hold back! Go look already!!!!

[Eyes High]

I wouldn't pay Cruise anything to teach me about 'acting'


Tommy Lee Jones and maybe Foster would be the only ones whom I would called the best in their field. The others are okay (IMO) but not the 'best.'

Cruise was nothing but a pretty boy face to begin with. I've watched most of his movies, but it wasn't because of his 'superb' acting abilities. So if that is what Anderson would use as a comparison, he would not be saying much of himself in my opinion.

Now Jones. He is a wonderful actor in my opinion as I said above. But still I wouldn't pay to learn from him either. Acting is like writing. You either have the talent or not. One might could be taught finesse, but if one doesn't have the talent to begin with then there is not much anyone can do about it.