Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

I have always dispaired of writers seminars. A good author/story teller's talent comes natural. If your a good author then everthing you need to know about story telling will be learnt in primary school, that a story has a beging, middle and end. If you can't fiqure the rest out on your own, you never will. All these seminars do is flood applications to publishing houses and the market with two bit hacks, lowring the standards and making it harder for genuine good authors to suceed. The people that run these seminars are vile parasites, they feed on people's hopes and dreams and extort them for it. As I have said before, the best writters are the "wild writters", without any creative writing education. Why? Because when they write, their cup is empty.

Its weird, the idea of KJA teaching people how to be great authors is both amusing and dipressing.

merkin muffley wrote:

SandRider wrote: I guess Spanky McDune is just alot smarter and a better writer than Frank ...

hell, he's Homer, for the love of God ...

I thought he was Dickens.

SandChigger wrote:No. Just Dick.

If you think that in depther you'll find he's both. he's Dicker!

Kensai wrote:The people that run these seminars are vile parasites, they feed on people's hopes and dreams and extort them for it. ... Its weird, the idea of KJA teaching people how to be great authors is both amusing and dipressing.

Right on both counts.

I haven't looked at the list of topics again lately, but IIRC these seminars are more about the BUSINESS of writing, not so much about the actual writing process itself. I could be wrong... but that was the impression I got originally.

It might be the jacket doesn't know the difference...

Yeah, it was all business, all the time. It was all about agents and marketing and other blah-blah-blah. Dull topics from duller speakers, in other words.

I learned that one of the best ways of networking is to pander to a cult. It's advice about how to get a cult following if your writing is bland and hackneyed.

plus the evident attraction of mindless following and feeling of "let us do the thinking, you can do the paying" to someone who thinks a lot of himself... and would so much love people to see him the way he sees himself!

But that self love is probably what stops him from truly joining, he obviously thinks he's more clever than everyone, no fucking way he'd let anyone challenge that!

Bitchin' new website! Big discounts available! And, remember, the Red Lion in Salt Lake City is well-known for its sheer awesomeness!

Hacks stealing money from wannabees

Is the old site still up?

Damn: I just downloaded it the other day to do a parody version over the holidays.

TheDukester wrote:Bitchin' new website! Big discounts available! And, remember, the Red Lion in Salt Lake City is well-known for its sheer awesomeness!

Hacks stealing money from wannabees

I stay at Red Lion all the time in the northwest and inter-mountain west

Grammargirl video on that page. She's kinda hot.

Edited to add: I hadn't seen that dirty tricks video before. It was actually kind of disturbing.

HBJ

Should I hook up with Grammar Girl? I mean, it's not that big of a town — I'll bet I could catch her at B&N or Borders without even really trying.

I'll leave it up to you guys ...

Well, man, that's entirely up to you.

Me... I could never take a woman seriously after she'd had her head as far up KJA's asshole as GrammarGirl has had hers.

(And even before she went for nogginal insertion, she was givin' the ole mum blossom da slurpy. )

She's cute... but that leads to kissing and that leads to sex and then you would actually have to talk to her.

Freakzilla wrote:She's cute... but that leads to kissing and that leads to sex and then you would actually have to talk to her.

Only if you plan on staying after.....

Rob

I'm getting some mixed signals here ...

Well... I'm jaded, Rob's a young and healthy man in his prime (even if he does wear skirts), and Freak would nail anything female with a pulse. (And, honestly, I'm not so sure about the pulse condition.)

What you need is a larger sample size!

As long as she doesn't break the mood by being all grammatical while doing it.

Rob

"Do me!" is okay grammar, right?

Well, I'm off to B&N to re-arrange some Keith and Bobo books; I'll let you know if I run into GG.

Freakzilla wrote:She's cute... but that leads to kissing and that leads to sex and then you would actually have to talk to her.

shit, sez who?
what kinda ROE book you been operatin' from ?

I hit the mute button right after she said
even tho I'm a published author, I have a new york times bestsell.....
and then just sorta watched her mouth move ....

a screen shot of her "thumbs-up" gesture has some photoshop potential ...

IDK, Duke ...
I'd assume she'd be an easy score ... she'd start off real stand-offish & prudish;
that'd be a defensive facade, easily overcome; you'd have to listen to a little
bit of her mouth, no more than ten minutes or so, tho; once it's been non-verbally
established that you both are leaving where-ever you have met to have sex, you
can be a little bit ruder - "Yeah, babe, that's real interesting ... just not right now."
and turn away from her to talk to someone else ... she will take this as a threat of
not leaving with her and that fear and insecurity will cause her to make a better
attempt at pleasing you ...

but now, aren't you married? not that that is really all that relevant, but it can be ....
I'd say the biggest factor there is : How Hot is Your Wife ?
it'd be a given that you love her & all, but ... GrammarGirl is not in the Damn the Consequences league ...
and whether or not your wife ever found out is not an issue either (never is)
the issue is between You and The Little Baby Jesus ... given the Situation between you and your partner,
and given the sexual attractiveness of the strange, or situational sexual-arousal of the environment,
would The Little Baby Jesus, while of course unable to actually condone this fornication,
mostly likely be understanding, and look the other way, going about some more important, pressing business ....
like tossing prepubescent altar boys in front of priests, or contemplating The Father's ultimate Object Lesson in Darfur ...

if this was Freakzilla, I'd say nail her with a handsledge like a Roman Centurion on Golgatha ....
in your case, tho ....

okay, here's what I advise - meet her in a bar, get her drunk, get her out in the parking lot,
take some topless photos behind a Ford F350, do not let her touch your penis, put her
in the bed of the Ford F350, get the hell out of there, and go have sex with your wife ....

what you do with the photos is your business, but both my emails are listed in my sig ...

SandRider wrote:okay, here's what I advise - meet her in a bar, get her drunk, get her out in the parking lot,
take some topless photos behind a Ford F350, do not let her touch your penis, put her
in the bed of the Ford F350, get the hell out of there, and go have sex with your wife ....

That is top fucking shelf right there. And, hey, everybody wins!

(Especially the wife ... ifyounowhaddimean )

Hunchback Jack wrote:I hadn't seen that dirty tricks video before. It was actually kind of disturbing.

... I dunno .... in a way, yes it is .... if these were normal, actual authors saying these things ...
... but coming from Keith & Becky, it just seems ... typical ? obvious ? in-character ? stereotypical ?
something like that ...

but, who is this HezekiahKidron person when he's at home ?
there is enough Keith & Becky video on his channel to make peaceful sleep impossible for several weeks ...

I finally watched it from the office last night.

What the FUCK is up with Jabecca's voice? Sounds like she's got marbles in her mouth.

Or a throatful of Kevin? Is that why he's so chipper?