Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

Drink your Sapho juice and eat you Spice crackers, Brothers, for it will prepare you for the most painful of suggestions I have for a discussion...

Tell me, Jacurutu, what are the worst suggestions, additions, or meddlings any of you can make for DUNE universe, in light of the meddlings and additions you abhor in the prequels or sequels?

Because I've taken an interest in the additions and manipulations outside authors and screenwriters have made to DUNE's overall story, I'm curious about which ideas would directly or indirectly sabotage the legacy which was established by Frank Herbert.

Dictate to me your worst meddlings with DUNE, and may your knife chip and shatter.

You're actually KJA, aren't you, looking for ideas for the next books, things that will piss us off the most, right?

Will get back to you on this one!

No, I'm not KJA. I'm too young to be KJA. I didn't read his books till Elementary School, which was 1998, and my first books written by him were the Jedi Academy Trilogy.

Actually, the reason I asked was because I was thinking of writing a satire on other authors and screenwriters who meddled with the DUNE universe to suit their own interpretations or literary tastes. What I should have asked is: what ridiculous scenarios could you think of for DUNE that would represent best your displeasure with how the DUNE universe was handled, and effectively satirize those who handled it?

Still, I'm glad I gave you a good laugh.

I did, hower, during Elementary School conceive my own sequels for Star Wars: Dark Forces that would have passed as KJA, but they were probably a little more inspired if rather silly in plot circumstances.

The worst addition to Dune I can think of is Bobo & Keith.

There are lots of good ones in the "Predictions" for the new books threads, expanded upon on HToD

Nekhrun wrote:The worst addition to Dune I can think of is Bobo & Keith.

For you.

Worst addition would be telekinesis. You KNOW Kevin is just ITCHING to give the BG real tele-powers and make them into the Jedi he sees them as in his mind.

...wait, they already did that in the Legends series. Fuckers.

Ultra spice and water worms were the most ridiculious hacks additions (amongst many) to the Dune universe, imo ( like 2 giant peanut infused terds sitting atop a shit sandwich). I still cant fathom how 2 self proclaimed Dune fans could be sitting in some sort of make shift brain storming session and come up with ultra spice and water worms.

But as we are so fond of mentioning the hacks love to go over the top w/ their additions to Dune, so i wouldn't be surprised if we saw maybe some sort of flying (air) worms????????.... or super duper ultra spice or something equally ridiculious.

You know, flying worms would be off the chain.

Think about the possibilities - the next step would be worms in space (wait, Lucas did that - sorry).

You'd have to create a new infrastructure from the sand up, don't let me get ahead of myself here:

You could create a capsule that would protect people from being digested by the worm, and create a dune subway. When you've reached your spot, you pull the string or hit the button and waterguns start dousing the innards of the worm until it pukes out the capsule. You get off and move your merry way, and then the capsule activates shields/thumpers and calls the the next worm train. The engineer/pilot of the worm train would be very similar to a guild navigator, by prescient awareness of obstacles and safe paths through the subsand abyss and topical desert while simultaneously syncing up with the next closest worm, if the previously used worm is tired.

I NEED WORMRIDING TAKEN TO THE NEXT LEVEL, PPL. GET TO WORK.

I think you win.

The worst addition to Dune so far..... KJA and Brian Herbert.

Nekhrun wrote:The worst addition to Dune I can think of is Bobo & Keith.

Sorry Nekhrun, I missed that post somehow.

There's a certain level of retardation to actually adding water-worms to a DUNE story that is nearly impossible to top. It's just one reason I consistently vote for Sandworms as the worst McDune ever (hell, that's easy; I also think it's the worst book ever printed in the English language).

Of course, if they actually add flying worms ... well, words fail me. My brain is actually locking out any further imagery on that one.

I'm not sure anything would surprise me, though, considering neither member of the writing team has ever had an original thought in his life. Anderjacket pretty much makes his living by making other authors' stuff bigger, faster, or more ultra.

The best part about the water worms plot was that they MUST have known it would piss people off, but it served NO PURPOSE WHATSOEVER in the plot of the book. (of course, I claim that none of the 9 or 10 plotlines in Hunters and Sadworms have anything to do with the resolution anyways...)

Dungeons & Dragons already did flying worms. They're called Thunder Worms.

Well, shit, now one of Anderhack's preek spies is going to forward that to him. You've just guaranteed that actual flying sandworms will appear within the next two McDunes.

Especially now that there's precedent in D&D.

There's precedent for almost everything in D&D. Remember, this is the game that used to have killer floors, ceilings and walls back when it first started.

Didn't one of the Tremors sequels have flying versions of those beasties, too? If KJA catches that while proofing galleys some day, flying sandworms will be a done deal.

TheDukester wrote:There's a certain level of retardation to actually adding water-worms to a DUNE story that is nearly impossible to top. It's just one reason I consistently vote for Sandworms as the worst McDune ever (hell, that's easy; I also think it's the worst book ever printed in the English language).

Of course, if they actually add flying worms ... well, words fail me. My brain is actually locking out any further imagery on that one.

There's really no difference. They could use the same bullshit story device that they needed genetically modified worms that could fly and sprinkle spice like fairy dust over the masses. They just have someone add some crushed bird pellets in a petri dish with a sand plankton and boom, flyin' worms.

Hey, that just reminded me... didn't Tyrant once post some sarcastic shit over on DuneNovels about flying sandworms with pink fairy wings that farted magic spice dust?

SandChigger wrote:Didn't one of the Tremors sequels have flying versions of those beasties, too? If KJA catches that while proofing galleys some day, flying sandworms will be a done deal.

I only remember smaller bipedal running versions from Part 2... They also had thermal vision, kinda like Predator, which was cool Oh, and they procreated by vomiting (yeah, something like that)

Think of it... bipedal running sandworms that vomit spice... and more sandworms? (Technically they would cease to be worms by then, but what the heck? Call 'em "runner worms", and that's all!)

(I really should go get some sleep)

NICE!