ROFL!TheDukester wrote:Not even Chuck Norris can read Sandworms without gagging.
Save the Amazon reviews here.
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My amazon review
0 Stars, a travesty and disgraceful piece of unedited fan fiction that does not understand the original, September 19, 2008
By R. Wright "Whisky Lover" - See all my reviews
I sat down to read Paul of Dune with much trepidation, Hunters and Sandworms were atrocious examples of writing that I debated long and hard if i should even attempt to slog through the moronic prose and cardboard characterization that are earmarks of Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson.
PoD continues with a familiar format, very short chapters, telling instead of showing, no inner monologues, blatant insertion of their own creations that contradict the work done by Frank Herbert (details below), and utter disregard for the themes of the Dune Universe.
The authors attempt to confuse us with inept smoke and mirrors to explain their blatant rewriting of the entire Dune Universe. According to the revisionist view Paul was born on Kaitain,completely ignoring Paul's fathers statement to him:
"Seeing the direction of his father's stare, Paul thought of the wet skies out there--a thing never to be seen on Arrakis from all accounts--and this thought of skies put him in mind of the space beyond. "Are the Guild ships really big?" he asked.
The Duke looked at him. "This will be your first time off planet," he said. "Yes, they're big. We'll be riding a Heighliner because it's a long trip. A Heighliner is truly big. Its hold will tuck all our frigates and transports into a little corner--we'll be just a small part of the ship's manifest."
If the authors had read Dune as they claim to have, they would know that Leto never lied to Paul ever!
The Muadru have been mentioned in every single book the authors have written for Dune since The Machine Crusade, yet not once in the original six Dune novels written by Frank Herbert are they mentioned. Yet the authors have inserted their own creation wholesale into the original works without any regard for the originals.:
Paul says, "There appears to be a linguistic connection between the Fremen and the Muadru, but the latter race vanished at independent sites all over the galaxy--suggesting a terrible cataclysm that took them all at once."
There are no other races in the Dune universe, just humans and variations of humans, the inclusion of a mysterious alien race shows a total lack of understanding of the Dune Universe.
Princess Irulan gets worked over pretty good as well.
"...and how Princess Irulan becomes his biographer, propagandist, and myth-maker, willing to doctor history as she sees fit."
This statement form the TOR newsletter indicates that the growing dissent against the wholesale destruction of Frank's work is not the actions of a talifan's, the authors in order to cover their inconsistencies, use Irulan as a scapegoat because you know, we are better writers and have written more Dune books in less time than Frank ever did so everything he wrote was just the work of a propagandist.
Duke Leto's cairn. The authors have Paul create this massive shrine yet in Children of Dune, the cairn is still very simple and plain, not the ornate monstrosity the authors describe, yet again an example that they did not read the original works at all.
Total misunderstanding of the Fremen culture. No Fremen at this time would ever yield a Honor Challenge. Ever! Death is the only outcome.
The book is also poorly edited, actually i wonder if it was edited at all, in one scene Paul is fighting anonymously along side his troops yet does not even know the name of the planet he is on and the next moment he does without explanation. Sloppy and very poor. I have tutored eight grade students with better writing skills than these two authors. The lack of any editing is painfully clear.
The end result of Paul of Dune is a terrible, terrible piece of fan fiction that is a waste of ones time, show's zero respect for the works it is based on, is another example of rewriting and destroying one of the seminal works if American Science Fiction, and like much of today's popular works, complete utter crap with no value whatsoever.
Yes, I have a copy of Paul of Dune, a gift from a former employee, so don't bother with that line of attack.
(I got a copy after I read it in B&N, a surprise gift)
Keep checking for it to show up and vote for it people!
Rob
0 Stars, a travesty and disgraceful piece of unedited fan fiction that does not understand the original, September 19, 2008
By R. Wright "Whisky Lover" - See all my reviews
I sat down to read Paul of Dune with much trepidation, Hunters and Sandworms were atrocious examples of writing that I debated long and hard if i should even attempt to slog through the moronic prose and cardboard characterization that are earmarks of Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson.
PoD continues with a familiar format, very short chapters, telling instead of showing, no inner monologues, blatant insertion of their own creations that contradict the work done by Frank Herbert (details below), and utter disregard for the themes of the Dune Universe.
The authors attempt to confuse us with inept smoke and mirrors to explain their blatant rewriting of the entire Dune Universe. According to the revisionist view Paul was born on Kaitain,completely ignoring Paul's fathers statement to him:
"Seeing the direction of his father's stare, Paul thought of the wet skies out there--a thing never to be seen on Arrakis from all accounts--and this thought of skies put him in mind of the space beyond. "Are the Guild ships really big?" he asked.
The Duke looked at him. "This will be your first time off planet," he said. "Yes, they're big. We'll be riding a Heighliner because it's a long trip. A Heighliner is truly big. Its hold will tuck all our frigates and transports into a little corner--we'll be just a small part of the ship's manifest."
If the authors had read Dune as they claim to have, they would know that Leto never lied to Paul ever!
The Muadru have been mentioned in every single book the authors have written for Dune since The Machine Crusade, yet not once in the original six Dune novels written by Frank Herbert are they mentioned. Yet the authors have inserted their own creation wholesale into the original works without any regard for the originals.:
Paul says, "There appears to be a linguistic connection between the Fremen and the Muadru, but the latter race vanished at independent sites all over the galaxy--suggesting a terrible cataclysm that took them all at once."
There are no other races in the Dune universe, just humans and variations of humans, the inclusion of a mysterious alien race shows a total lack of understanding of the Dune Universe.
Princess Irulan gets worked over pretty good as well.
"...and how Princess Irulan becomes his biographer, propagandist, and myth-maker, willing to doctor history as she sees fit."
This statement form the TOR newsletter indicates that the growing dissent against the wholesale destruction of Frank's work is not the actions of a talifan's, the authors in order to cover their inconsistencies, use Irulan as a scapegoat because you know, we are better writers and have written more Dune books in less time than Frank ever did so everything he wrote was just the work of a propagandist.
Duke Leto's cairn. The authors have Paul create this massive shrine yet in Children of Dune, the cairn is still very simple and plain, not the ornate monstrosity the authors describe, yet again an example that they did not read the original works at all.
Total misunderstanding of the Fremen culture. No Fremen at this time would ever yield a Honor Challenge. Ever! Death is the only outcome.
The book is also poorly edited, actually i wonder if it was edited at all, in one scene Paul is fighting anonymously along side his troops yet does not even know the name of the planet he is on and the next moment he does without explanation. Sloppy and very poor. I have tutored eight grade students with better writing skills than these two authors. The lack of any editing is painfully clear.
The end result of Paul of Dune is a terrible, terrible piece of fan fiction that is a waste of ones time, show's zero respect for the works it is based on, is another example of rewriting and destroying one of the seminal works if American Science Fiction, and like much of today's popular works, complete utter crap with no value whatsoever.
Yes, I have a copy of Paul of Dune, a gift from a former employee, so don't bother with that line of attack.
(I got a copy after I read it in B&N, a surprise gift)
Keep checking for it to show up and vote for it people!
Rob
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TheDukester
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Mr. Teg
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Nah, save your money.SandChigger wrote:Nah, it probably means Amazon is using Kevin's uncle Mike as one of their webmasters, too.
Aaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Let's take up a collection and buy him some viagra or something, so he can get the stuff up faster!
After years of butt fucking with Kevin and friends, even viagra wouldn't help him.
CHOAM
Combine Herbert Ober Anderson Mercantile, Narf!
Brian, Kevin & Byron
The HLP
Combine Herbert Ober Anderson Mercantile, Narf!
Brian, Kevin & Byron
The HLP-
Nekhrun
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Can someone explain to me how the fuck you could give any of those books 5 Stars?
I'm thinking of giving it 5 stars just because of how involved I am in the book by pointing out how shitty it is, but I think those two on Amazon are serious. One of which hasn't finished the book, I wonder if that will be deleted. I reported the review just in case.
I'm thinking of giving it 5 stars just because of how involved I am in the book by pointing out how shitty it is, but I think those two on Amazon are serious. One of which hasn't finished the book, I wonder if that will be deleted. I reported the review just in case.
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TheDukester
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Ack, this back-and-forth at Amazon is going to be even worse than it was for Sandworms ... and that was pretty bad.
There's not a single 5-star review up there from anyone who has turned so much as a single page of PoD. Not one goddamn page.
To any and all preeks who see this, and especially to your "fearless" leader, Byron Brownshirt: you are all a bunch of fucking pussies. Every single one of you. You can't even be bothered to actually read this book you profess to love so much. You'd rather just spend your time posting fake reviews and telling anyone who will listen just how darn mean those OHers are.
Pathetic. All of you.
There's not a single 5-star review up there from anyone who has turned so much as a single page of PoD. Not one goddamn page.
To any and all preeks who see this, and especially to your "fearless" leader, Byron Brownshirt: you are all a bunch of fucking pussies. Every single one of you. You can't even be bothered to actually read this book you profess to love so much. You'd rather just spend your time posting fake reviews and telling anyone who will listen just how darn mean those OHers are.
Pathetic. All of you.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.
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cmsahe
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mine
It's lenghty because it is aimed to all those poor souls who are discovering Dune via Pinky & The Brain:
review to Hunters of Dune:
" 1.0 out of 5 stars The last chapter of Chapterhouse Dune, clearly explains that Marty & Daniel are Face Dancers., September 21, 2008
Brian & KJA got out from their feverish imagination that they are the thinking machines: "Omnius" & "Erasmus":
From Chapterhouse Dune:
"You deliberately let them get away, Daniel!"
The old woman rubbed her hands down the stained front of her garden apron. It was a summer morning around her, flowers blooming, birds calling from nearby trees. There was a misty look to the sky, a yellow radiance near the horizon.
"Now, Marty, it was not deliberate," Daniel said. He took off his porkpie hat and rubbed the bushy stubble of gray hair before replacing the hat. "He surprised me. I knew he saw us but I didn't suspect he saw the net."
"And I had such a nice planet picked out for them," Marty said. "One of the best. A real test of their abilities."
"No use moaning about it," Daniel said. "They're where we can't touch them now. He was spread so thin, though, I expected to catch him easy."
"They had a Tleilaxu Master, too," Marty said. "I saw him when they went under the net. I would have so liked to study another Master."
"Don't see why. Always whistling at us, always making it necessary to stomp them down. I don't like treating Masters that way and you know it! If it weren't for them . . ."
"They're not gods, Daniel."
"Neither are we."
"I still think you let them escape. You're so anxious to prune your roses!"
"What would you have said to the Master, anyway?" Daniel asked.
"I was going to joke when he asked who we were. They always ask that. I was going to say: 'What did you expect, God Himself with a flowing beard?' "
Daniel chuckled. "That would've been funny. They have such a hard time accepting that Face Dancers can be independent of them."
"I don't see why. It's a natural consequence. They gave us the power to absorb the memories and experiences of other people. Gather enough of those and . . ."
"It's personas we take, Marty."
"Whatever. The Masters should've known we would gather enough of them one day to make our own decisions about our own future."
"And theirs?"
"Oh, I'd have apologized to him after putting him in his place. You can do just so much managing of others, isn't that right, Daniel?"
"When you get that look on your face, Marty, I go prune my roses." He went back to a line of bushes with verdant leaves and black blooms as large as his head.
Marty called after him: "Gather up enough people and you get a big ball of knowledge, Daniel! That's what I'd have told him. And those Bene Gesserit in that ship! I'd have told them how many of them I have. Ever notice how alienated they feel when we peek at them?"
Daniel bent to his black roses.
She stared after him, hands on her hips.
"Not to mention Mentats," he said. "There were two of them on that ship-both gholas. You want to play with them?"
"The Masters always try to control them, too," she said.
"That Master is going to have trouble if he tries to mess with that big one," Daniel said, snipping off a ground shoot from the root stock of his roses. "My, this is a pretty one."
"Mentats, too!" Marty called. "I'd have told them. Dime a dozen, they are."
"Dimes? I don't think they'd have understood that, Marty. The Reverend Mothers, yes, but not that big Mentat. He didn't thin out that far back."
"You know what you let get away, Daniel?" she demanded, coming up beside him. "That Master had a nullentropy tube in his chest. Full of ghola cells, too!"
"I saw it."
"That's why you let them get away!"
"Didn't let them." His pruning shears went snick-snick. "Gholas. He's welcome to them."
Comment Comment | Permalink
"
review to Hunters of Dune:
" 1.0 out of 5 stars The last chapter of Chapterhouse Dune, clearly explains that Marty & Daniel are Face Dancers., September 21, 2008
Brian & KJA got out from their feverish imagination that they are the thinking machines: "Omnius" & "Erasmus":
From Chapterhouse Dune:
"You deliberately let them get away, Daniel!"
The old woman rubbed her hands down the stained front of her garden apron. It was a summer morning around her, flowers blooming, birds calling from nearby trees. There was a misty look to the sky, a yellow radiance near the horizon.
"Now, Marty, it was not deliberate," Daniel said. He took off his porkpie hat and rubbed the bushy stubble of gray hair before replacing the hat. "He surprised me. I knew he saw us but I didn't suspect he saw the net."
"And I had such a nice planet picked out for them," Marty said. "One of the best. A real test of their abilities."
"No use moaning about it," Daniel said. "They're where we can't touch them now. He was spread so thin, though, I expected to catch him easy."
"They had a Tleilaxu Master, too," Marty said. "I saw him when they went under the net. I would have so liked to study another Master."
"Don't see why. Always whistling at us, always making it necessary to stomp them down. I don't like treating Masters that way and you know it! If it weren't for them . . ."
"They're not gods, Daniel."
"Neither are we."
"I still think you let them escape. You're so anxious to prune your roses!"
"What would you have said to the Master, anyway?" Daniel asked.
"I was going to joke when he asked who we were. They always ask that. I was going to say: 'What did you expect, God Himself with a flowing beard?' "
Daniel chuckled. "That would've been funny. They have such a hard time accepting that Face Dancers can be independent of them."
"I don't see why. It's a natural consequence. They gave us the power to absorb the memories and experiences of other people. Gather enough of those and . . ."
"It's personas we take, Marty."
"Whatever. The Masters should've known we would gather enough of them one day to make our own decisions about our own future."
"And theirs?"
"Oh, I'd have apologized to him after putting him in his place. You can do just so much managing of others, isn't that right, Daniel?"
"When you get that look on your face, Marty, I go prune my roses." He went back to a line of bushes with verdant leaves and black blooms as large as his head.
Marty called after him: "Gather up enough people and you get a big ball of knowledge, Daniel! That's what I'd have told him. And those Bene Gesserit in that ship! I'd have told them how many of them I have. Ever notice how alienated they feel when we peek at them?"
Daniel bent to his black roses.
She stared after him, hands on her hips.
"Not to mention Mentats," he said. "There were two of them on that ship-both gholas. You want to play with them?"
"The Masters always try to control them, too," she said.
"That Master is going to have trouble if he tries to mess with that big one," Daniel said, snipping off a ground shoot from the root stock of his roses. "My, this is a pretty one."
"Mentats, too!" Marty called. "I'd have told them. Dime a dozen, they are."
"Dimes? I don't think they'd have understood that, Marty. The Reverend Mothers, yes, but not that big Mentat. He didn't thin out that far back."
"You know what you let get away, Daniel?" she demanded, coming up beside him. "That Master had a nullentropy tube in his chest. Full of ghola cells, too!"
"I saw it."
"That's why you let them get away!"
"Didn't let them." His pruning shears went snick-snick. "Gholas. He's welcome to them."
Comment Comment | Permalink
"
Only the books written by Frank Herbert are canon.
Who We Are and What We Stand For
viewtopic.php?p=79778#p79778
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Carlos Santillan, aka cmsahe
Who We Are and What We Stand For
viewtopic.php?p=79778#p79778
----
Carlos Santillan, aka cmsahe
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Illogical Banana
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I voted all the one star reviews as helpful and the opposite for the 5 star ones. I also reported all the one star ones for obvious reasons. Hope this helps a little. And my one star review is still up. 21/35 people found it helpful 
“But what is the good of friendship if one cannot say exactly what one means? Anybody can say charming things and try to please and to flatter, but a true friend always says unpleasant things, and does not mind giving pain. Indeed, if he is a really true friend he prefers it, for he knows that then he is doing good.” -Oscar Wilde
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SandChigger
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I've just had at my new favorite slanted slit over on Amazon. I'm strangely proud, in a sad way, of this:
I, on Amazon, wrote:Susie Wong, she say:
"Thank you God of critique. know, you do not have to be a author, but same that just critique, have know talent of there own, and like to put author down to feel better about them self. Does that ring a bell for you."
O Susie Wong, you so make me laff and laff! I not God of Critique, I God of Kitchen Wok! God of Critique, he live two door down and he name Fred. I may not be writer, but that not mean I no know talent when I see. Or no see, as I no see no talent in this book! (You see any? Please you tell show where OK?)
Put down famous author who can no write for all famous, why feel better about self? You tell me. I no hear bell you say, but sure do see sign of ding-dong.
"Let the dead give water to the dead. As for me, it's NO MORE FUCKING TEARS!"
