Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

that ... was a cross-thread "callback", to my story of getting my ass whipped in a bar,
after a humiliating defeat of the Cowboys some 30 years ago, when I stepped up to
big, angry fucker and screamed "How bout them COWBOYS!" into this face ....

I don't remember what the score was that Sunday, didn't give a fuck, don't give a fuck,
I just know they lost (bad enough to fire the coach Monday morning - whoever that was)
and I was in a bar, and D-runk, and was actively looking for the down-in-the-mouth
Cowboy fans, and screaming "HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS !!" and laughing manically, all night ...

I did this for several reasons:
>> I exist only to amuse myself; this amused me ...

>> I'm an asshole ... I can usually contain myself and my behavior in an appropriate manner in the appropriate places;
it was Halloween night, I was at the deadhorse, I had not been in the deadhorse in some time, and the little college
girls apparently missed me (not enough to do anything more than tease me, of course, but then, I'm in no condition for
anything other than being teased) the owner of the saloon definitely missed me, and told the barkeeps to maintain my personal
Lone Star Beer glass mug (kept behind the main bar on the shelves with the other memorabilia) with an acceptable level
of ice and straight bourbon until I died (on the house, yes, but Rex is also smart enough to only allow me comped "well"
whiskey, which I believe is Evan Williams ....) and so if there was ever an appropriate time and an appropriate place for me
to wallow in the true asshole-ness of my character, this was it;

>> I'm an old man, and my spine is held together with baling wire & spit, but I'm also still a big guy; my chest is still broad
and my biceps still strain the sleeves of a Brooks&Dunn black satin cowboy shirt, with pearl snaps and silver braiding on the
collar, and my hands are big, rough and callused; my craggy face is brown and red and dried from the Sun and the Wind,
my glassy, bloodshot eyes still hold that look of barely-contained insanity & mischief ... in short, I look like a man who works
hard in the harsh climates of West Texas all day, every day; a man who most likely enjoys fighting for fun; a man not to be
fucked with, but to be placated and flattered, bought drinks and offered cigarettes, drugs, and your girlfriend ...

>> in the ten years since Rex bought what used to be a hardware store in the old downtown section, on a street that
has had a reputation for fighting and killing for over a hundred years (google Remington's sketch "How the Worm Turned" -
that happened right across the street, in what is now an antique shop) and turned it into a WildWest Saloon/Austin-styled
Music Venue, I have, on more than one occasion, kicked the living dog-shit out of some poor soul, right there under the
velvet painting of Elvis, and drug them out into the street, not out onto the curb, mind you, but all the way out into the
middle of the motherfucking street, kicked them in the ass one more time, walked back into the bar and continued drinking
and socializing as if nothing had occurred at all ....

>> the shitheels who had gotten all up in their feelings about an NFL team, and the Shitheel Cowboys at that, were all in their
mid-20s to mid-30s; I have a bunion on my toe older than that; most of them were not "my people" ... meaning rural-dwelling,
farming and ranching rednecks, or Constructors - oilfield hands, linemen, heavy equipment operators, men who have atleast
three hard hats in their trucks, covered in safety stickers from past projects; no, these were the "Town Kids" ... grown men
who wear flip-flop sandals into a saloon ... which is not good protection for your toes from the heels of my Justin Ropers ....
men with funny haircuts, and tattoos they paid hundreds of dollars for, grown men who dress like little boys ... young men,
in the prime of their lives, in good physical shape from "working out", strong young men with endurance and testosterone,
who should, by all rights, be able to whip my ass handily - and could easily, except that they lack the vital ingredient
necessary to cook up such a rich stew .... and that, my friends, is heart ....

for these "Town Kids" are pussies; they know it, I know it, they know I know it, I know they know I know it ...

and so, in these, my golden years, I took advantage of my superior position in this little society, and my wisdom of experience,
and I needled the fuck out of those boys with their Romo Jerseys and the sides of their heads shaved, drinking lite beer from
a glass .... and they laughed and played it off, and twice, maybe, I saw the look of anger and rebellion in their eyes, and I
caught those eyes, and burned them with mine, and they could read my thoughts then - yeah. go ahead. buck a little.
sneer at me ... just .. a .. little ... go ahead and stand up, maybe you can get off that barstool before I cross your head
with this 30 year old thick glass beer mug ...

and then, that look of resignation, an averting of eyes from the Alpha Dog, a slight tightening of the jaw, as the frustration and
shame and guilt begins to gnaw at their innards, and they have to come face-to-face with the difference between the men they
think they are, and the men they really are ...

and I did this because finally, after all this time, me and the little baby jesus got us an understanding;
and he was watching me, watching me act a fool, and he shook his head and giggled, and lit up another joint ...


that's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men
are good-looking, and all the children are above average ....

But how does the Kaiser fit into all this?

you're thinking of a different story, about the time the Simpson boy and I went to Shelbyville to register for the draft, on that new train that
was pulled by mules and by the time they got them mules moving out of the depot, why, you coulda walked to Shelbyville and back;
well, I had tied an onion on my belt, which was the fashion in those days, but when we got there that Simpson boy had decided he'd better
just go ahead and join up in the Army before they drafted him, which didn't make any sense then, either, so I just told the men at the
barber shop that were writing the names down for the army that I was a nancy-boy, and they sent me back home, but they loaded up the
Simpson boy on a different train, and I never saw him again ...

Papa Bear, you just ain't right.

The Queerios (eat them up, yum!) @the Alamo DraftHouse
http://www.austinrocky.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;




Hmmm. That's a rather tender subject ...

RHPS Avatars (180x180, Jacurutu-sized)









Jesus died for your sims :
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGUhh4_n ... re=related[/youtube]

how sentimental:


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVxMlZLi ... re=related[/youtube]

Lately I feel like I'm the only person on Earth who has not seen this movie^^^...

Sandwurm88 wrote:Lately I feel like I'm the only person on Earth who has not seen this movie^^^...

What's stopping you? It's an essential part of your upbringing.

Sandwurm88 wrote:Lately I feel like I'm the only person on Earth who has not seen this movie^^^...

I felt like that until recently.

virgins in the back row ....

I wouldn't recommend it unless you can see it in a theater with audience participation.

Freakzilla wrote:I wouldn't recommend it unless you can see it in a theater with audience participation.

We don't have that here ...

I bet they do on the continent somewhere.

The DVD I have has the option of watching with the audience participation lines added but it's not the same.

http://newsthump.com/2009/10/30/all-par ... aedophile/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

that's not a pumpkin, this is a pumpkin !

(clicky)

http://www.facebook.com/#!/media/set/?s ... 377&type=1

(The first pic, of course.)

Freakzilla wrote:I wouldn't recommend it unless you can see it in a theater with audience participation.

I've seen it on TV but never a live preformance.

I asked my mom about it and she said the first time should be at a midnight screening in college at a theater, with a bunch of other college students, and that she went to a few of those...Up until now I thought this woman was a normal, kinda conservative middle-aged person for her entire life... Huh!?

Sandwurm88 wrote:I asked my mom about it and she said the first time should be at a midnight screening in college at a theater, with a bunch of other college students, and that she went to a few of those...Up until now I thought this woman was a normal, kinda conservative middle-aged person for her entire life... Huh!?

I'll bet your mom did a whole lot of things you'll be finding out about soon.

Also, I've never seen that movie and I have no intention to. Not out of any animosity toward it, I don't even know enough about it to know if it's something I'd like or not. I'm guessing that anything with audience participation is something I would hate.

It's a blast with a good crowd, saw it at New Mexico State the other day.

Rob