Jᴀᴄᴜʀᴜᴛᴜ - Tʜᴇ Cᴀsᴛ Oᴜᴛ

11/01/08: interoffice memo wrote: From: Kevin
To: Byron
RE: New Dune Board

It's come to my attention that you are incapable of running a simple message board.
In all fairness, this may be due to the complexity of the phpBB software and your
general lack of computer skills and knowledge. Therefore, from this day forward, the
Dunenovels.com Official Dune Forum will be presented to the public on an Etch-A-Sketch,
which I have re-termed The Dune-Sketch

Do not be alarmed at the daunting task of learning this new system. I have prepared a FAQ
that should cover all problems with the change-over.
**********************************************************************
Frequently Asked Questions for Dune-Sketch Technical Support:

Q: The Dune-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it

Q. How do I turn my The Dune-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q. What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I create a new forum thread ?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I delete a thread that becomes embarrassing ?
A. Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I delete a post I don't understand on The Dune-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I delete an OHer post on The Dune-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q. How do I save a post from Arnoldo on the Dune-Sketch?
A: Don't shake it.

From: Kevin
To: Sue
Date: 11/07/08
Re: My Memos

It's come to my attention that you have been editing my memos. This must stop immediately.
If I needed someone to proof-read something, I'd hire editors. Your job is to transcribe my
voice memos as I said them not ... what ?...fuck ... wait a minute....What Byron ? ....who
posted that ?.... that sonofabitch.....okay, just ban that little fucker and delete the post ...what ?
Well, I don't care, Byron, for chrissakes, just delete the whole goddamned thread. Quit
being such a pussy, Byron. Just do what I tell you.....what ? .... no, no, no ... look, I told you,
if you can just hold the goddamn board together until I can bribe that Kendrick fucker to take
it over, I'll let you do the GummiWorms of Dune coloring book....yeah, yeah, look quit
bitching or I'll give it to Simon. Shut up, Byron....Now where was I ? Oh, yeah...Your job
is to transcribe ....what ? ....oh, goddamn .... well, change his fucking diaper...just slap
him a few times, he'll quit crying....now...okay... Your job is to simply transcribe ...... what ?
Oh shit ! Look, Sue, I'll finish this later, Tom Cruise is on the phone ...........yessir ....
yessir, Mr. Cruise...... well, I'm doing the best I can .... look, it's not my fault ....of
course they're going to agree to cast you as Paul in the new movie .......

To: Byron
From: Kevin
Date: 11/11/08
Re: Anal Cavity Capacity

It's come to my attention that you have exceeded the total amount of
Fanboys allowed up in your ass. Normally, this would not concern me,
as I'm a fairly liberal guy and what/who you allow up in there is your own
business.

However, as you yourself have also crawled all the way up in my ass,
I have to take into account who you bring with you. As you know, Brian
actually takes up more space that it would appear on first glance, plus I've
still got that dead Canadian bitch stuck in a bend of my large intestine. Until
I can figure out a way to release her death-grip on my colon, I'll need you to
expel some of your own baggage.

If it comes down to a choice between Arnoldo or Simon, ditch Simon;
he's actually been reading my books, and I fear he will soon start asking questions.

SandRider wrote:

To: Byron
From: Kevin
Date: 11/11/08
Re: Anal Cavity Capacity

It's come to my attention that you have exceeded the total amount of
Fanboys allowed up in your ass. Normally, this would not concern me,
as I'm a fairly liberal guy and what/who you allow up in there is your own
business.

However, as you yourself have also crawled all the way up in my ass,
I have to take into account who you bring with you. As you know, Brian
actually takes up more space that it would appear on first glance, plus I've
still got that dead Canadian bitch stuck in a bend of my large intestine. Until
I can figure out a way to release her death-grip on my colon, I'll need you to
expel some of your own baggage.

If it comes down to a choice between Arnoldo or Simon, ditch Simon;
he's actually been reading my books, and I fear he will soon start asking questions.

SandRider wrote:semi-retirement's a beautiful thing - may you get some soon.
until I can walk again, all I have to do is sit here, drink, "surf the net",
and occasionally holler at the Mexicans over the radio about the livestock ....

Kevin {or Sue} wrote:Oh shit ! Look, Sue, I'll finish this later, Tom Cruise is on the phone ...........yessir ....
yessir, Mr. Cruise...... well, I'm doing the best I can .... look, it's not my fault ....of
course they're going to agree to cast you as Paul in the new movie .......

Freakzilla wrote:Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer both tested for the part of Paul Atreides [Dune, 1984].

http://www.duneinfo.com/arrakis/cast.asp

I think he would have been way better than Kyle McLaughlin and his Hair.

Baraka Bryan wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer both tested for the part of Paul Atreides [Dune, 1984].

like a gom jabbar test?

Lisan Al-Gaib wrote:

Freakzilla wrote:Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer both tested for the part of Paul Atreides [Dune, 1984].

http://www.duneinfo.com/arrakis/cast.asp

I think he would have been way better than Kyle McLaughlin and his Hair.

I like Kyle's hair

It's very nerd.

Tleszer wrote:And SandRider, why the hate on Cruise ?